Monday, November 9, 2009

Hiding from the Jehovah's Witness and Other Nonsense

9:00 a.m. Monday morning

I am walking through the house. I have just hung up the phone and am going back outside to work in my garden when I spy, coming up the sidewalk to my front door, three random people. I am suddenly struck with fear because I don't open my door to strangers, ever! I don't buy stuff from small children. I don't meet city council people campaigning. I don't entertain Mormon's. If I don't know you, my door isn't open. The problem with this rule of mine is that my house is very open. VERY. I have two giant windows in the study and dining room and large double front doors that are 70% windowed. From the front door, you can see through to the kitchen, living room, dining room, study and back patio. There is only one small wall in between the living room and the dining room. It is actually less than two feet wide. It became my hiding place this morning.

Seriously, I hid behind an 18 inch wall for about 5 minutes while these people rang my doorbell, commented on the decor of my house and finally walked away. If they had decided to come around and look in any of the windows, they would have seen me and after I chewed them out for trespassing, I would have felt really stupid for hiding.

Why I can't open the door and deal with these people is beyond me. I am not afraid of them. I just really want to avoid the whole encounter. I don't want to talk to them about their strange religious choices. I know I won't change their mind. They aren't changing mine. Also, there is the whole idea of opening your door to strangers when they could be dangerous. Why would I open my door to you if I do not know you. I have thought about putting a discreet little sign that says no soliciting please, but that is so crabby and Scroogish. Maybe I could get one that says:

Dear Jehovah's Witnesses, Mormon's, Roofing Companies, Campaigners, Small Cute Fundraising Children and anyone else who doesn't already know us,

Please don't ring our doorbell because we love Jesus. We believe he is the one true Son of God and is the only way that we will be getting to heaven. We are not changing our minds. You should check into why you believe what you believe.
When we need a new roof, we will call a roofer. You may leave your card.
We vote Republican. We read the papers and understand your position. Please do not put your sign in our yard. Unless, of course, you would like to pay us for advertising for you.
We have our own small cute fundraising kids. We buy from them.
We don't know you. We are not opening our door to you. It's not safe.
Thanks for your cooperation.

Of course this would be done in a tasteful chrome plaque with smiley faces and and a small sign under it that says "Smile your on Camera".


Haddy said...

Brilliant. I am giving you a standing ovation right now...if only in my head.

Unknown said...


香魚烘蛋Tata said...


小小彬 said...


Nana said...

it happens that i act like that too, maybe i'm worst: when i want to be quiet (and it didn't happend often), i listen to my mp3 (screwed earphones in my ears), almost in the dark, no tv, no music, i even wisper when i talk to the cats,i filter telephone calls, the cellular is in silent mode,the house is = silent, to be sure that nobody can guess that i'm home...that's a weird behavior ...cauz the house is well insulated against the cold, double glazing, thick walls, shutters soundproof ...

Dusty/333 said...

The last 2 paragraphs!! I'm sitting here at work at 0435 in the morning... don't know you, fell onto your blog by clicking the next button on mine????? I'm cracking up and LOVE the part about believing in Jesus and you can't change our mind:) LOLOLOLOL

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job said...


日月神教-向左使 said...


Mrs MacKenzie said...


I'm one of Jehovah's Witnesses and stumbled across your blog using the "next blog" button. Of course this post caught my eye! I know how you feel about not wanting to open up your door to strangers. I don't open up my door to strangers either! The world is a dangerous place.

To be honest, not all of us enjoy going door to door. Its pretty nerve wracking and stressful (as I'm sure you can imagine), but we do so because we also believe in Jesus and he commanded us to do so. You can find this commandment at Matthew 28:19,20. Our goal is not to break your faith in Jesus, cause we believe he is the son of God as well and that we can only have forgiveness of our sins through him. We are at your door to proclaim "the good news of the kingdom" (matthew 24:14) which is that God will soon act to destroy the wicked and replace all earthly governments with his own (Daniel 2:44, Revelation 21:3,4, Psalms 37:10,11). However, Jesus warns us that "not everyone saying to me Lord Lord will enter into the Kingdom of the heavens, but the one doing the will of my father who is in the heavens will" (Matthew 7:21) so we try to encourage all who want to, to bring their life into harmony with what God requires of his followers.

I just thought I'd comment here to let you know what we really believe. There are alot of misconceptions!