Friday, November 20, 2009

The Injured Party

Yesterday, I was up at my kid's school and one one of the wonderful TA's stopped me and let me know that Sophie got hurt during PE. My response was not one of panic because Sophie gets hurt every day. Sometimes, several times a day.

If someone is going to get hurt, it is going to be Sophie. If someone is going to let you know that they are hurt, it is going to be Sophie. So, needless to say, I was not surprised. I am, as they say, calloused to the various hurts, bruises, scrapes, bumps, bonks and falls that my poor daughter brings to the table. She is so dramatic about it all that I tend to listen to the problem, look at it, assess the situation and send her on her sad little way with a kiss and a hug and a get over it.

Which didn't serve me well today.

This evening the kids and I met a whole group of friends at a restaurant. As we were walking in, Sophie, ran into a railing and cut her chin open. I was walking in front of her and didn't see it happen. I just heard her wail and turned to see her wedged into the intricately designed railing. I thought to myself, "did your dumb self just stick your arms in a railing?" I walked back to her impatiently and a little embarrassed, to find that she was actually holding on to the railing to keep from falling out on the floor... and her chin was split open and bleeding...a lot.

I felt like a meanie. I felt like a mean ass. But seriously, who walks into a railing and splits their chin open? Craziness!

Needless to say, I ended up leaving the party to go to Walgreen's and purchase butterfly band aids to close the wound because it would not stop bleeding. We put them on and she acted wounded for about 15 minutes and then played with her friends as though she were a whole well child. Miracle of miracles! Every now and then she would remember that she was hurt and come find me with her sad eyes and start talking without moving her mouth. Once she used the sad eyes to ask for a "chocowate dessert".

I think she will be fine until we try to take off the band aids.

Maybe I will do it one night while I am NOT SLEEPING and she is. I can pick her up and put her in bed with Clay and I. Then I will pull off the band aids. If she wakes up I can blame it on Clay!

Monday, November 9, 2009

Hiding from the Jehovah's Witness and Other Nonsense

9:00 a.m. Monday morning

I am walking through the house. I have just hung up the phone and am going back outside to work in my garden when I spy, coming up the sidewalk to my front door, three random people. I am suddenly struck with fear because I don't open my door to strangers, ever! I don't buy stuff from small children. I don't meet city council people campaigning. I don't entertain Mormon's. If I don't know you, my door isn't open. The problem with this rule of mine is that my house is very open. VERY. I have two giant windows in the study and dining room and large double front doors that are 70% windowed. From the front door, you can see through to the kitchen, living room, dining room, study and back patio. There is only one small wall in between the living room and the dining room. It is actually less than two feet wide. It became my hiding place this morning.

Seriously, I hid behind an 18 inch wall for about 5 minutes while these people rang my doorbell, commented on the decor of my house and finally walked away. If they had decided to come around and look in any of the windows, they would have seen me and after I chewed them out for trespassing, I would have felt really stupid for hiding.

Why I can't open the door and deal with these people is beyond me. I am not afraid of them. I just really want to avoid the whole encounter. I don't want to talk to them about their strange religious choices. I know I won't change their mind. They aren't changing mine. Also, there is the whole idea of opening your door to strangers when they could be dangerous. Why would I open my door to you if I do not know you. I have thought about putting a discreet little sign that says no soliciting please, but that is so crabby and Scroogish. Maybe I could get one that says:

Dear Jehovah's Witnesses, Mormon's, Roofing Companies, Campaigners, Small Cute Fundraising Children and anyone else who doesn't already know us,

Please don't ring our doorbell because we love Jesus. We believe he is the one true Son of God and is the only way that we will be getting to heaven. We are not changing our minds. You should check into why you believe what you believe.
When we need a new roof, we will call a roofer. You may leave your card.
We vote Republican. We read the papers and understand your position. Please do not put your sign in our yard. Unless, of course, you would like to pay us for advertising for you.
We have our own small cute fundraising kids. We buy from them.
We don't know you. We are not opening our door to you. It's not safe.
Thanks for your cooperation.

Of course this would be done in a tasteful chrome plaque with smiley faces and and a small sign under it that says "Smile your on Camera".