Friday, March 20, 2009

Another installment of Language Arts and What is my Husband Teaching my Kid?

Pissification - the process that water takes from the ground to the clouds and back down as rain again. (Landry explained this to Sophie like a professor in the car. Soph, already knew all about pissification)

Showing your Privacy - not sitting in a lady like position. ("Sophie stop showing us your privacy.")

At the rodeo this last week I look down to see Clay and Uncle Chicken (cousin Scott) and Landry betting actual cash money on the chuck wagon races. Landry lost. You think he would learn his lesson? NOPE

Tonight, after I peeked in to say goodnight to Lands while he and dad where reading those aren't books...those are cards.

"What are ya'll doing?"
"We're playing a game where the first person to get to 200 wins 5 bucks."
"What are you teaching my son?"

"Uh, to uh, play cards for uh, money.?" sheepish grin.

So, where do boys learn this stuff, uh from, uh their uh, DADS!

Thursday, March 12, 2009

The Name Game (Sometimes it just ain't right)

This is for you, Alyson & Brooke....

I recently had a call from Landry's doctor's office. They said they needed to reschedule a a doctor's appointment for LAUNDRY McCook......Could LAUNDRY come on Tuesday instead of Monday?



Who in their right mind names their kid Laundry? Who in their right mind leaves a message for a kid that they think might be named Laundry without consulting someone in the office? Is this woman often confronted with odd names like Cheesecake Smith or Refrigerator Duncan?


I just wonder what makes people so dense?

I have been called many a name in my time. Tish, Tisha, Tasha, Tara, Tanya, name a few. It 's almost as if the person sees a few letters and that automatic text recognition thing comes on in their brain and overrides whatever is written, like on your cell phone. OH, don't get me started on that thing... it is so handy yet so frustrating. I can not tell you how many times I type tomorrow and end up with tomato. Because I often text people about tomatoes! Clay and I have a running text joke with the word "karate". Several times I tried to type "ok" and for some reason it kept sending "karate". After about the third "karate" he called to ask me what "karate" meant. So now, I often respond with "karate". Feel free to use it in your texting world. Maybe it will catch on. Karate?

Speaking of texting. Isn't it odd to say and hear people say "texted"? As in, "I just texted my friend." It just sounds wrong. It sounds kind of countryfried. I usually say, " I just sent my friend a text." Just to avoid having to say "texted".

Anywho, back to names. Today I heard a name that was just depressing. Someone actually knows somebody who knows somebody who told somebody about a baby who was named, Shithead (pronounced with a "th" sound). She was probably the sister of Lemonjello and Orangejello who are the cousins of Female and Male. Clay's cousins swear they went to school with Lemonjello and Orangello. You know if there really is someone out there with that bad of a name they probably take every opportunity to make fun of someone elses name. I bet they are the telemarketers who called my house several times asking for Mr. My Cock. No kidding. The first time I sat there in stunned silence before I said, "Seriously, did you really just ask for Mr. My Cock? I mean really? Are you that stupid or are you just really rude?"

The next time I just hung up, but now I have a wonderful comeback. Doesn't that always happen? You think of the best things to say after the fact? Next time I will say, " You mean Dr. My Cock the penile implant specialist? It sounds like you need an appointment. Or, where you looking for the Pull Your Head Out of Your Ass Clinic?

Good one, huh? I am waiting by the phone.