Sunday, April 13, 2008

Death and Gratitude

I would like to start this posting by calling your attention to the newly redecorated blog page! My BFF husband, Kevin Sturm(the professor) spent countless minutes making me an altogether fabulous polka dot wallpaper background, centering my katywampus blog page and expanding the viewing area. I ask many of you have a BFF husband who would do that for you? I am beyond blessed and incredibly impressed! Thank you Kevito, my hero! Thank you to Chrystal for supervising the editing process. Thank you to all of the little people who lent their mom & dad to me for a little bit of time. I will be sure and reward you when I see you in a couple of weeks WHEEEEEE!!!

Brody...Sweetie Litie has prizes for you and Mia!!!! Who loves you, baby????

Okay, on the next brain wave.....Death.
I have decided that I should put on paper, or in cyberspace, my wishes in regards to my death. Now, I am not saying that I am dying or that I intend to die soon. As a matter of fact, I will probably outlive everyone I know. I will be 107 years old with a serious case of dementia. I know for certain that I will be very able bodied. Also, I will still look like I am 30 because of all of the plastic surgery that I intend to have. Your children will come visit me in the old folks home where I will be sitting around in a bikini and a depends under garment and I will have no idea why.

That being said, I guess I will have to print this and put it with my last will and testament so that my great great grandchildren will know what to do with me.

1stly - I wish to be cremated.
2ndly - I wish to be sprinkled in a beautiful botanic garden or lusciously green baseball diamond
3rdly - I wish for there to be no funeral. Period! Just a party and absolutely no viewing. Seriously, why do we do this. Do we really need to see the dead body of someone to know they are gone. So now, all you remember is my plastic looking face, dead. No thank you.
4thly - The first song of the party will be from the "Wizard of Oz"..."Ding Dong the Witch is Dead"
Oh man, I wish I could be there because that will be some kind of funny. Hee Hee.
followed by, "Only the Good Die Young". Then you can play sad cry songs but please follow them up with many a great or funny tune. I think you should check my ipod for some fav's. I love me some U2 and Sinatra oh and Harry Connick, Jr.
And then just dance and have a great old time until it is time for your tired selves to go home. I would like to end the party with Bob Hope singing, "Thanks for the Memories"

Now you know. LOL


Chrystal Sturm said...

Oh my funny.

First - you should know that my perfectionist hubby spent like 3 hours on editing your blog! He's so great.

Second - you for sure made me laugh out loud with your description of yourself at 107. It's good to know b/c I don't plan to live a day past 87. That needs to be a good party b/c I expect to be dead the next day.

Third - Your going to have to be a little more specific about your place of distribution. Work on that, kay.

Lastly - I'd like to be cremated too after all functioning organs have been recycled and ashes dumped at our wedding site: Godrick Grove. I totally agree with the party idea and think the Witch Is Dead is totally appropo for your funeral. I want something like...Who Let the Dogs Loose or something totally rando like that. Whoop. Whoop.

Kevin Sturm said...

Tessa - I'm totally here for nerd related needs.'s "Who Let the Dogs Out". And I only spent three hours on it because you hated the first two designs. Shows how much I know about MamaDrama design.

As far as death wishes, I'd like to have all my organs donated to 1/3 nerds. I think my organs would feel out of place in a really cool persons body...they just wouldn't like it. And I'd like to be cremated and have my ashes integrated into a wearable garment. Recycle yo!

Jessica Kaylor said...

Okay, I am going to want to know how you edit the blogs! I hope you took notes. I love it:)