Talent Show

Someone please remind me next year that I do not want to do talent show again! Seriously, the whole rehearsal process makes me not like my kid. It makes me not like any kids. I do not know what happens to them, but they act like they have been raised by wolves! The adults do all of the work finding the right song, choreographing a routine, putting together the stage props and costumes and finally getting everyone to the various rehearsals, auditions, rehearsals, ass whippings and so on and so forth. Only to be met with dissension, aggravation, broken props and then bull if the kid doesn't say...."I don't even want to be in the talent show!!!!!"

Next year I am putting together a group of moms to perform in the talent show. I am bypassing the kids altogether!

I give

Have you ever "volunteered" yourself out. Do you know what I mean? When you have said yes to several volunteer tasks that people have asked of you as well as some that you really want to do. Then all of the sudden there comes a time when every one of them seem to converge at the very same time and you are doing everything you possibly can to do the best job and not let anyone down. I am a little volunteered out. I have had to ask God what he expects of me right now and you know what he keeps telling me? His old stand by...BE STILL AND KNOW THAT I AM GOD. Which right now means for me to quit trying to control everything and roll with the punches. I did this today and he told me to resign from a volunteer postition that I was just asked to do and reluctantly agreed to yesterday. I did it and I feel a huge, HUGE weight lifted off of my shoulders. Also, today was relatively smooth. Except for my run in with the crossing guard at school. I just have to say that she is so very lucky that I am not PMSing today and that she was standing beside my car and not in front of it. I may have been blogging from my jail cell this evening.

Take Cover

This morning we are experiencing torrential downpours here in North Texas. There has been lots of thunder, lightening and flash flooding. On our way to school we listened to the weather reports and the DJ said that the Fort Worth Fire Dept. had already reported three house fires. These fires, they believed, were started by lightening. The DJ warned us to be careful. At first, I thought, "yes, she's right we should be careful." Then I realized what on earth can I possibly do to prepare my house for random lightening strikes. I guess I can't pick up the mail while holding a big metal pole. I often do this. I just like to test my luck but, if the lightening is serious enough to warrant a warning from the knowledgeable DJ, I think I will leave my big pole in the house today. Better yet, since houses are obviously being targeted by random lightening today I think Sophie and I should go to the mall and stay there. You never hear of malls being struck by lightening. Come to think of it you don't hear of anything bad happening to malls. No one bombs malls. Malls do not usually get tornadoed or hurricaned. That settles it! We are going to the mall. See ya there!

Flu Shots and More Language Arts

Landry and Sophie had some follow up doctor's visits today and at the end we all got flu shots. Last year we did not get flu shots and I will not do that again, no matter how much my kids protest. Luckily, this year Landry was able to get the flu mist. This you inhale up your nose and it is not at all painful. I could have opted for the mist myself, but poor Sophie isn't old enough so if she was brave enough to get a shot so was I! It hurt though. The nurse told me to relax and I just looked at her and said, "ya, right." I am about to poke a needle in your arm and push some stinging liquid into your muscle. Just think of the beach and the sound of the WAAAAAVVEEEESSSSSS! Anyway, we all came through it beautifully and since it was too late to take the kids back to school and they deserved a prize, we went to Alley Cats. It was awesome! We were the only people there. It wasn't noisey. I new where my kids were at all times. I bought them each a ten dollar card and it lasted almost an hour. They walked away with about 2500 points and several treasures that I am sure I will throw away in the next couple of weeks.

As we were leaving Landry started to ask about homeless people who have to eat out of the trash can. He said, " you know mom like the poohos." It took me a minute to realize that he meant hobos. Poohos. Fabulous!

Language Arts

This morning Sophie said, "oh, mama, you crap me up." It reminded me of when Landry called me a "crack head" instead of a nut head. Funny kids

Me so Funny

Sometimes I forget how funny I am. Not often, but sometimes I do forget. Then I read my profile and I crack me up.

I need to say that the only reason I do this blog is for my kids. I want them to have ample evidence that they need counseling when they actually have to go to counseling. I also want them to know that they are weird and they come by it honestly. It runs in their genes. It's genetic. It goes back generations. The other reason I do this blog is so Lita and I can live next door to each other even though we don't live next door to each other. She think me so funny, too.

The Master

I picked up Sophie and her precious little friend Jaye Caroline at school. As soon as we got in the car they had an interesting story to tell me about their adventures that day. Well, Sophie did, Jaye is a quiet, observing little girl. She rarely says anything to adults. She just stares and possibly shakes her head, but on this day while Sophie told the story, Jaye sat there wide eyed and chimed in every couple of seconds. Here's the story...

Sophie, "There was a mouse on the playground today, it was sleeping.'
Jaye, "It had ants on it."
Sophie, "Well, it wasn't really sleeping it was kind of sleeping."
Jaye, "It had ants on it."
Sophie, "Well, it was really pretty dead."
Jaye, "It had ants on it."
Sophie, "Everyone was touching it except me and Jaye."
Jaye, "It had ants on it."
Sophie, "Ya it had ants on it so we didn't touch it, but the master came and got it and took it inside so we didn't see it again."
Jaye, "It had ants on it."

Me, "Who is the master?"
Sophie, "The master is a guy who goes to my church school. He comes and talks to us about books and stuff. He is kinda like Doc."
Me, "Oh, the pastor."
Sophie, " Mrs. Kathleen calls him the master."

Much ado about Nothing

I have spent the last couple of weeks culling throught our closets, dressers and various bins of hand me down clothes. I have been doing this for two reasons.
1.) To find out what fits and what doesn't
2.) To take the clothes we have grown out of to the school for the clothing drive.

I had 4 very large bags of great clothes piled up in the back of the Expedition. I loaded up Sophie and her friend Jaye and headed off the Wood a good 30 minutes earlier than the picking up crowd. I hauled the bags in only to find out that the clothing drive was two weeks ago. Seriously, two weeks ago. Oh well, here we come Mission Arlington.

Flying

I am flying on Sept. 11th. What kind of stupid am I.....Well, I am the kind of stupid that didn't bother to look at the calendar and recognize the date before I booked it. No wonder it only cost me 25,000 miles. I wonder if I will be one of only two people on board the plane? Me and one other dumb butt. I cannot imagine that anything like 911 would happen again, but you never do know what crazy terroristic peoples have planned in their pea sized hate filled minds. I think I will be using my time on the plane to pray for the families whose lives were impacted during that horrible disaster. This takes my mind off of me and onto someone more powerful than I am. I really hope there aren't any "eastern" looking people trying to fly anywhere tomorrow. Talk about racial profiling.

I will be flying to Salt Lake City, Utah where my fabulouso friend Allison will pick me up and drive me to Park City where she now lives with her family. I will be spending time hiking and shopping and doing yoga with my favorite workout partner. Allison and I used to work out every day in Corpus Christi. I think she will be disapointed in my lack of physicality lately, but I know she will be so happy to see me. Our cups will runneth over!

Morning Sleep in AHHHHHHHH!!

Sophie spent the night with her grammie last night and Clay took Landry to school and I slept in until 8:30. I got that OOHH AHH feeling! So nice to sleep in. So nice to sleep at all. Now I am going to walk my little pdoggies (puppydogs) and do some gardening. I think I will follow this with yoga, laundry, shower and then pick up the boy from school. What a loverly day.

Handicap Sticker

I now have three friends and a mimi who have handicap stickers on their cars. I have to say that I am not jealous of their various handicaps which enable them to place said sticker in plain view and park in the FRONT ROW. I am, however, plotting to steal one from one of their dash rear view mirrors and walk with a limp. (A slight limp, Lita.) Tell me, do you think this is wrong?

Football

Landry started football practice this week. Yes, he is playing football. No, it is not tackle. Yes, it is overwhelming. I already have the order form for all of our spirit items. ie. yard sign, tshirt, decal for the car. I always said that I was not having a sticker on my car that said whatever sport my kid was in and their logo, but I may have to. I always thought Clay would put it on his truck and tonight he informed us that his company won't let him put stickers on his company vehicle. So, I may sticking a sticker on my car! I will wear it proudly!!!

Sophie and Jay Caroline Posing

Alfalfa Sophie and Horned Landry

Seaworld Trip Landry got soaked by Shamu

I'm not scared of this Dolphin

Creature lover

Landry, Haleigh, Sophie and Harrison Clowing around in San Antonio

This is one of MANY pictures like this!

Near Death Experiences

I nearly pruned my thumb off this evening while I was dead heading my new Knock Out rose bushes. Seriously, I was holding a spent bloom in position to cut it off and I somehow sliced into my thumb straight to the bone! I felt it hit the bone. GROSS! It bled like a stuck pig!
I very calmly dropped all of my stuff and walked into the house where I made the rational decision to wash it in the laundry room sink, so as not to spoil the kitchen sink with blood. I ran it under the cold water for a minute or two and then pressed a clean paper towel on the cut for a few minutes. It stopped bleeding. It doesn't even hurt. It's funny because I really thought we were headed for the emergency room again. I mean straight to the bone. How do you cut yourself like this and it doesn't even hurt. Hey, maybe I'm the Cheerleader!!!!! Save the gardener, save the world!

Oh, red, you get it?

Zippity Do Dah

Today I remembered why I am not a nurse or personal assistant. I do not have much patience and people around me need to do what they are told and at some point fend for themselves. This does not make for good servant material. I can only do so much and then I need a vacation.

Clay is doing better. He is performing covert illegal operations and spending lots of time on the phone and on the couch. This morning he drove himself to get a taquito for breakfast and filled up my car with gasoline. I woke up to an empty house and immediatly called him to say, "What are you doing?" He sheepishly replied that he didn't know he wasn't supposed to be driving. I reminded him that just a few hours ago his body was filled to capacity with heavy sleep inducing narcotics. On top of that he has a stint in his ureter, he is taking kill the horse pain medication and he is not supposed to be driving or eating spicy, fatty foods from our local mexican dive! Macho as he is, he said it was no big deal, he was hungry, I wasn't awake...blah, blah, blah! When he returned home he told me that he filled my car up with gas and looked at me like I was supposed to thank him. I looked at him like if you damage yourself while healing and we have to prolong this misery, YOU WILL DIE! Like the Sweet Potato Queens say, "Some men need killin". Please dear Jesus in heaven above keep him from killin himself so I can get the priveledge!

Blue Balls

We are blue here at Whimsey Hill. We are blue because my poor husband has been put through the ringer the last couple of days. Yesterday, he had surgery to remove a 7mm kidney stone that was painfully traveling through his ureter to his bladder. When the doctors finally got in to look at it, it was way too big to pull out without causing a lot of damage. So, they sent his poor self home with a catheter dramatically protruding from his, well his, well, you know. He was to go home and rest, ha, and the doctor would use a machine to blast it into little passable bits this morning.
This finally happened this afternoon.
The surgery center was backed up and did not get to Clay until 3:45pm. This makes for a very long, hungry and tiring day. He was blasted and ready to go home at 5:30 and he has been miserable ever since. I am feeling for him. I have actually been a little sick to my stomach today. I can only describe this as sympathy pains. I am such a Felix Unger! (The Odd Couple) I hope tomorrow is a brighter day. I am thankful that so far he has lived through this and is hear to painfully partake in another 105* day.
Oh, one funny thing did happen today. While we were waiting for his procedure to take place, I found a skin marker. I tried, without any luck, to convince Clay to let me write something funny on his belly. Something like...Fragile, HANDLE WITH CARE, THIS END UP.... Damn, that would have been funny! He's not in a very funny mood! I get teary just thinking about it. Oh, what about elephant ears. heeeeheeheeheeheehhehehehehehe.

Diet Coke is the Devil

I am writing in brown because Clay has a kidney stone. I think it is brown. I have no real medical knowledge to back up my hunch. It is just a hunch. I think it was brought on by mass consumption of diet Coke. Diet Coke is the devil. It tastes bad. It's not right.
Anyway tomorrow we will go to the hospital where he will have the stone removed. This is not a pretty process. If you want to know more about it please visit www.WebMD.com I am sure they have some info.

Fireflys, Lightning Bugs, and FROGS!!!

We here, at Whimsey Hill, are having a great summer. Yesterday was the last day of kindergarten and tomorrow we start 1st grade. Well, not really, but it does seem like it. We acutally have two weeks of summer vacation left, but it feels like we have only been out for a week or two. Tonight we are having Landry's friend, Kyle, spend the night. Kyle and Lands are good buds from school. This is the first time we have seen him since the end of school. I really thought we would have him over at least twice a week, but it has not been so. Time either creeps by slowly or shoots by like a comet. In this case it has left me with stars in my eyes. Right now they are trying to sneak up the stairs without me knowing. They are whispering loudly and sound like a herd of cattle going up the stairs, but oooohhh, they are being sooooo sneaky!!!!



They have had a great time tonight. They made forts out of pillows, rode scooters to the park, caught fireflys and frogs, had homemade cookies, and played video games. What more could you ask for! We love summertime!

Hello DAAAAHlings

Helloooooo! Lita, I am switching my blog to this here free one! See, my other blog is costing me a whole $6 a month and well, we all know that with the raise in prices at Starbucks, I will need to save my money where ever I can. I am about to write a big ol letter to Mr. Bucks and let him know that only the post office can raise prices twice in 6 months. My Iced Venti 3 Splenda Green Tea was once $2.06. It was recently raised to $2.17 and is currently a very steep $2.27. I feel like the proverbial frog in the kettle. They slowly raise the price and let me get used to it so that I won't jump out. Well, I am about to jump all over them. Honestly, it only cost them three quaters of one penny to make the tea in the first place. The are making a hefty profit off of my addiction. I may have to make it at home and carry extra supplies everywhere I go. I need to get a big cooler and set it up in the back of the Expedition. Now that is an addict!