Language arts and Farts!

Here I am with another installation of Language Arts: Yesterday, the kids and I went to my moms house to have fajitas for dinner. Landry walked in and asked my mom if he could see the "Fohobos" we were having for dinner. He was serious, then he was embarrassed. It's funny that he gets embarrassed when I tell stories about him. Nobody needs to let him know about this blog!

Ok, Farts...after reading this please see my Kevin's latest posting about farts at www.nextgendads.com .

Sophie and Clay were wrestling on the floor in the living room. She was giggling and having so much fun as he was playing with her. Suddenly, she stopped and said, "Dad you need to go to the potty and poop. You tooted and your bottom smells like poop." Followed by peels of laughter.

Funny kids!

P.S. If you are offended by potty humor you have no business reading my blog! :)

Updates and Correction to Previous Post

Chrystal told me that Kevin spent 3 hours fixing my blog. I figured that since he is a techno junkie genius boy wonder it would have only taken him 10 minutes to redo my blog. Since it has already taken me 12- 16 hours, several headaches and many curse words later and I still do not know how to change a dang thing on the blog. A friend of mine has music on her blog. I am good to get the pictures up. Some people have it and some people don't!

Okay, next...I forgot to say a few things on my death blog. I do want my fam to donate whatever is usable on me to whomever needs it. I have taken some pretty good care of my stuff. Someone deserves to live with my goods after I am gone. The Sturms both said this in their comments and I was really talking about what happens after all that stuff. I meant to give direction to what is to be done with my shell after the harvesting my what nots. Someone should take my eyes. They are 20/20 I have never had a problem with them and I eat carrots. Wouldn't it be funny for someone to get an eye donation and have one brown and one blue. Come to think of it I have two friends with one brown and one blue eye. Maybe they should trade each other.

Death and Gratitude

I would like to start this posting by calling your attention to the newly redecorated blog page! My BFF husband, Kevin Sturm(the professor) spent countless minutes making me an altogether fabulous polka dot wallpaper background, centering my katywampus blog page and expanding the viewing area. I ask you...how many of you have a BFF husband who would do that for you? I am beyond blessed and incredibly impressed! Thank you Kevito, my hero! Thank you to Chrystal for supervising the editing process. Thank you to all of the little people who lent their mom & dad to me for a little bit of time. I will be sure and reward you when I see you in a couple of weeks WHEEEEEE!!!

Brody...Sweetie Litie has prizes for you and Mia!!!! Who loves you, baby????

Okay, on the next brain wave.....Death.
I have decided that I should put on paper, or in cyberspace, my wishes in regards to my death. Now, I am not saying that I am dying or that I intend to die soon. As a matter of fact, I will probably outlive everyone I know. I will be 107 years old with a serious case of dementia. I know for certain that I will be very able bodied. Also, I will still look like I am 30 because of all of the plastic surgery that I intend to have. Your children will come visit me in the old folks home where I will be sitting around in a bikini and a depends under garment and I will have no idea why.

That being said, I guess I will have to print this and put it with my last will and testament so that my great great grandchildren will know what to do with me.

1stly - I wish to be cremated.
2ndly - I wish to be sprinkled in a beautiful botanic garden or lusciously green baseball diamond
3rdly - I wish for there to be no funeral. Period! Just a party and absolutely no viewing. Seriously, why do we do this. Do we really need to see the dead body of someone to know they are gone. So now, all you remember is my plastic looking face, dead. No thank you.
4thly - The first song of the party will be from the "Wizard of Oz"..."Ding Dong the Witch is Dead"
Oh man, I wish I could be there because that will be some kind of funny. Hee Hee.
followed by, "Only the Good Die Young". Then you can play sad cry songs but please follow them up with many a great or funny tune. I think you should check my ipod for some fav's. I love me some U2 and Sinatra oh and Harry Connick, Jr.
And then just dance and have a great old time until it is time for your tired selves to go home. I would like to end the party with Bob Hope singing, "Thanks for the Memories"

Now you know. LOL

Hide and Seek

Today we went to a birthday party for Clay's mom and her husband at their home in Weatherford. We had a lovely time and ate way too much catfish and hushpuppies. We decided we needed to get home at a decent hour for baths and an early bedtime. While Clay was getting Sophie ready for bath, he noticed that her panties were missing and asked her where they were. After a little coaxing, he found out that she had a poop accident in them at Grammies house and hid them in her guest bathroom. We called her, of course, to warn her and tell her to please throw them away.
I think there is no end to the embarrassment your kids can cause you even when you think you have it all under control. :)

The Name Game is Over

Mianna Leta Marie Sturm. This is my baby girl niece's new name. They will call her Mia and I will call her Mialeta. She screached for me again last night. I am begining to think that she may be a little high mantainence with a scream like that. It is very demanding. I remember thinking that Sophie sounded like a goose that was being stepped on when she cried. Landry just sounded like a baby, but he would always lift his little head and stretch out his neck and purse his lips and he looked like a baby bird. Babies are so fun!

Lemonade & Good News!

Last time we chatted I had exciting news. My BFF safely delivered a beautiful baby girl on Monday Morning. Her preciousness is still being called Baby Girl Sturm because the parental Sturms cannot decide on a fitting name. I will keep you posted as to what is finally decided on. I am sure it will be as perfect as she is. I got to hear her cry yesterday and it was the funniest sound I have ever heard a baby make. Chrystal said it sounds like a zoo and she is right. It was kind of a cross between a howler monkey and a parrot being squeezed. It is a little frightening like maybe someone was pinching the crap out of her. I can not imagine Chrystal doing that. I know she would bite her, but not pinch her. Hee Hee. You can check out my precious neice at www.kevinsturm@blogspot.com

Also, my precious friend, Jessica Kaylor, made it home via Jet plane on Monday. I am keeping posted by her blog. I really want to call her, but I am giving her time to get acclimated and have qt with kids and family and people who think they are more important than me. Hee. She is going to have to get through rehab pretty quickly because we have a tamale class at Central Market on April 14th. I may have to go see her soon to light a fire under her tooshie!

OK, my news...for the last two days I have been on the Master Cleanser. This is a 10 day fast. You drink nothing but a lemonade concoction for 10 days and cleanse your body of all nastiness including excess fat. Tonight the fast was broken by Cici's Pizza and I tell you it was worth it. I have been dizzy, cloudy headed, tired, cranky, depressed, weepy and spending a lot of time on the potty. This is not for me. I am not sure anything that requires the use of Desitin by the second day is a good thing. So, I may be a loser and I may have no willpower but I am not going through this again!!!!!

Monday, April 7th Cool Day in History!

Today is such a cool day! My BFF Chrystalita con Arroz y Pollo de la Sol (Chrystal Sturm) is delivering her precious baby girl in Santa Barbara, CA. She still won't tell me her name. I have tried every trick in the book for the last several months and she has resisted. She did tell me that it may start with the letter "C". So I only assume that it will be Contessa. I am sure that she will name this child after me if she expects her to grow in grace and beauty, if you know what I mean. I so wish I could be there for the unveiling of my precious friends precious baby. I can't wait to meet her.

The second reason for coolness of this day is my precious friend Jessica Kaylor will be flying home from San Deigo. Jessa has been in San Diego for the past month with a ton of complications stemming from some very nasty cancer invaders. Evidentally, while she thought she was on vacation, God actually placed her there to meet a doctor who had the ability to rid her of the invaders. I am positive that she will come home and begin the road to recovery and remission.

So, today I am blogging my prayer to my Lord, the one and only God. The only true power that I have found in this world.

Powerful, Wonderful, Loving God,

My friends and I are experiencing great joy today. I ask you to surround them with people who are filled with your loving kindness. People who plan their lives according to your will and your plans. I ask you to keep them safe. To bring Chrystal's baby girl into this world without complications. I ask you for a healthy baby and mommy, for a comfortable delivery and recovery, for a calm spirit for Kevin and Brody and all of their family and friends. Please bring her friends who can help her in the next few months. Thank you for such fun things as babies.
For Jessica, I am asking you to calm any anxiousness she may be having. Fill them with your peace and smooth the airways between California and Texas. Give her friends and family the diserning spirit to know when to back off of their helpfulness and when to bring it full force. God, please bring her here and fulfill your prophecy to me. Heal her, Lord, we are done with this challenge and we need a break. Move her legs and give her the strength to learn to walk and run again. We love her, God and we know you do too. Pick her up, heal her and let her remain with us here on earth in a healthy, strong body.

I love you and depend on you. You are my God!