Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Insomniacs Blog

Have I told you that I am an insomniac? Yes, I have been officially diagnosed. I actually went to a sleep lab and did not sleep. So now I am officially an insomniac. I now have official insomniac drugs that are obviously not working tonight.

I have tried to sleep. I read my book in another room and once I was drowsy, I made my way to my soft, comfy bed where my husband was sleeping soundly. I rested my head on the cozy pillow and my brain turned on and it won't shut off. I tell you what, I have had some seriously deep discussions with many friends in my head this evening. I am pretty sure that I have solved some problem situations for some of my friends I have rebutted comments that people have made about me or in certain situations where I obviously feel the need to re butt. I have thought earnestly about what I am going to do when the kids are in school next week and what conversations I may have with my friends and family tomorrow on the very same subject. I have stopped my brain and tried to breath in a yoga rhythm while laying in a resting pose. I have sung varios songs, some of which were not restful. And finally, I have starred at my husband while he breaths deeply and twitches in the moonlight.

This starring has caused a chain of thoughts to permeate by brain, which I am a little ashamed of.
Bless me father for I have sinned.
I have harbored ill thoughts toward my husband while he lay unaware and frankly very vulnerable.

I have imagined kicking him out of the bed and laughing when he thuds, not knowing what hit him, to the ground. I have envisioned myself leaping from the bed in one swift catlike movement grabbing the pillow and pouncing on him, holding the pillow over his face until his slumber is completely disturbed. I have on one or more occasions actually pinched his nose together to see if he opens his mouth to breathe. He does. I did think about doing it again tonight. For sport.

This sounds totally mean...and it is.

I am just very envious of his ability to sleep. He seems to have no worries, no brain going ninety to nothing, no uncomfortability, just peaceful sleep. Peaceful, restful, slumber.

It eludes me. And it makes me think evil thoughts.

And since I'm still awake, wouldn't it be funny to draw a third eye on his forehead? Or I could pull all of the covers off of the bed, turn the ac down really low and go sleep upstairs. Hee Hee Hee heee

Oh geez, I think I will go read some more.


Rhonda said...

I like the third eye idea! Funny!

Anonymous said...

I have an idea - we can provide to you suggestions of what you can do to your husband, non-x rated of course, you can take pictures and post them for all to see! The third eye idea is funny. You can also put earings and lipstick on him, and if he wakes up you can swear that it occured due to your lack of sleep. Hmmm, we can make this fun!


Anonymous said...

Try propofol.


Anonymous said...

I think I will pass on the slumber parties at YOUR house Tessa!
-alyson z

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