Thursday, March 12, 2009

The Name Game (Sometimes it just ain't right)

This is for you, Alyson & Brooke....

I recently had a call from Landry's doctor's office. They said they needed to reschedule a a doctor's appointment for LAUNDRY McCook......Could LAUNDRY come on Tuesday instead of Monday?

Really?

Laundry?

Who in their right mind names their kid Laundry? Who in their right mind leaves a message for a kid that they think might be named Laundry without consulting someone in the office? Is this woman often confronted with odd names like Cheesecake Smith or Refrigerator Duncan?

Honestly...

I just wonder what makes people so dense?

I have been called many a name in my time. Tish, Tisha, Tasha, Tara, Tanya, Theresa...to name a few. It 's almost as if the person sees a few letters and that automatic text recognition thing comes on in their brain and overrides whatever is written, like on your cell phone. OH, don't get me started on that thing... it is so handy yet so frustrating. I can not tell you how many times I type tomorrow and end up with tomato. Because I often text people about tomatoes! Clay and I have a running text joke with the word "karate". Several times I tried to type "ok" and for some reason it kept sending "karate". After about the third "karate" he called to ask me what "karate" meant. So now, I often respond with "karate". Feel free to use it in your texting world. Maybe it will catch on. Karate?

Speaking of texting. Isn't it odd to say and hear people say "texted"? As in, "I just texted my friend." It just sounds wrong. It sounds kind of countryfried. I usually say, " I just sent my friend a text." Just to avoid having to say "texted".

Anywho, back to names. Today I heard a name that was just depressing. Someone actually knows somebody who knows somebody who told somebody about a baby who was named, Shithead (pronounced with a "th" sound). She was probably the sister of Lemonjello and Orangejello who are the cousins of Female and Male. Clay's cousins swear they went to school with Lemonjello and Orangello. You know if there really is someone out there with that bad of a name they probably take every opportunity to make fun of someone elses name. I bet they are the telemarketers who called my house several times asking for Mr. My Cock. No kidding. The first time I sat there in stunned silence before I said, "Seriously, did you really just ask for Mr. My Cock? I mean really? Are you that stupid or are you just really rude?"

The next time I just hung up, but now I have a wonderful comeback. Doesn't that always happen? You think of the best things to say after the fact? Next time I will say, " You mean Dr. My Cock the penile implant specialist? It sounds like you need an appointment. Or, where you looking for the Pull Your Head Out of Your Ass Clinic?

Good one, huh? I am waiting by the phone.

Karate!

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

You seriously crack me up. . .would that be Mrs. My Cock? Enjoy your LAUNDRY during spring break! :) -a

Natalie said...

Mrs. My Cock, you just made me feel better about being Mrs. Dickey!!!!

Carrie said...

Tessa My Cock, you just made me snort.

Hope you're doing well. Stop by sometime and we'll have some fair trade organic coffee at a local establishment.

Chrystal Sturm said...

Oh my goodness sakes. This was a GREAT post!! I hate 'texted' and try to avoid it too but inevitably...I have to say the word. "Tessa just texted me..." Dang it.

I just started laughing again thinking about the first time someone asked for Mr. MyCock and your stunned silence. Oh my.

This post was up there with a www.dooce.com post for sure!!

Launrdy. I'm so sure.

Haddy said...

I have a bad name for you.....Precious Beaver. Yes, a girl named Precious who went to TCU married a young man with the last name Beaver. Precious freaking Beaver...can you imagine???
Great post.

jbrooke said...

What a great start to my St. Patty's day! Even though I heard it in person, reading was just as good!

I think it was Scott's Uncle Floyd who called about the dr. appt.

:-)Brooke

Kathy Cornett said...

Too funny! Oh how I miss seeing you more often. You just made my day...and today that was tough to do.
Talk to you soon. Karate?

sans said...

hahahahaha!!! can't stop laughing! you crack me up.

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