Monday, July 28, 2008

Forgiveness is Golden

I don't know if you have noticed, but my little Landry is not the skinny bean pole that I was at his age. No one tries to see if they can pick him up because he is so tiny. No one asks if he has a tapeworm. No one calls him toothpick. He has a perfectly rounded little brown belly and I, personally, think it is adorable. His skinny friends, however, are not always so kind and he has had his feelings hurt more than once in the last year.

This summer at Camp Thurman, Landry came home and told me that two of his friends, let's call them Jeff and Tom, called him fat. I said, "Landry, the next time Jeff calls you fat you tell him "I'm not fat. I am muscly and the next time you call me fat I'll use these muscles to kick your scrawny tail!" He loved it. I also made a mental note to talk to Jeff and Tom's parents and let them know that their kids weren't playing nice.

Later that week, I had a conversation with Tom's aunt.
Who had a conversation with Tom's mom.
Who had a conversation with Tom which went something like this...
"Tom, did you call Landry fat?"
"Tom, they have video cameras at Camp Thurman and if I have to I will go there and watch them. Now, tell me the truth. Did you call Landry fat?"
"No, mommy, I promise. I didn't call him anything."
"Did you stand next to someone when they called him fat?"
"No, mommy, I promise."
"We don't ever call anyone fat, do you understand? It hurts feelings. It isn't nice. We do not call people fat."
"I promise I won't, please don't hit me with that hanger. Please don't beat the tar out of me. Please, please, please..."

Well, the last part is exaggerated, but I thought the dialogue was getting boring. :)

A week later, Landry and I are having the "fat conversation" again and I told him that I spoke with Tom's aunt. He gave me a puzzling look and said, "Tom never called me fat."
"You told me he did. You said Jeff and Tom. You told me he did."
"I think I made a mistake because Tom never called me fat. Can you apologize to his mom for me?"

OH NOOOOOOO! (that is sort of what I said)

Later that night, I saw Tom's mom who told me about the conversation she had with Tom and I, in turn, told her about the conversation I had with Landry. Then I found poor Tom and told him how wrong I was and how sorry I was and would he forget the whole thing if I gave him $5. This precious boy, graciously forgave me. He just said, 'That's okay." and went on about his business.

Lesson learned, check and recheck the story. Also, there is a time when you should let your kid fight his own battles. Arm him with loving kindness, diversionary tactics and a possible snide remark and send him out to fight for himself. This may save you some face!

1 comment:

Natalie said...

no one trys to pick me up because i am so tiny either! :-(