LitaMamadrama

Sophie

2011-04-24T11:31:00.001-05:00

Help a Girl Out, Put Up Your Shoes!

2011-03-22T20:48:00.003-05:00

I am nothing if not organized. Which is strange because I am pretty ADD as well, so I guess that disorganized part of ADD skipped me. The bad part of being an organized ADD person is that I cannot focus on anything else unless everything is in it's rightful place.

I have a shoe rack in the garage right next to the door. This is for dirty shoes. I have a shoe bin in the mudroom for the clean-ish shoes to be placed so that we know where they are when we need them and we don't have to keep running to the closet to get the shoes we've been wearing today. Ideally, this would be for 1 pair of shoes per person because this should be for the shoes we are wearing today, not the shoes we have worn for the past week. It has become a shoe collection bin. A couple of times a week I load up each kid with several pairs of shoes and ask them to put them in their closets. Each time I remind them of the 1 pair of shoes per person idea. Each time they respond with, "OOOHHHH", as if they have never heard this before and think it's a strange concept. It's mind boggling.

The outside shoe rack is a similar but more complicated arrangement. Ideally, this is a place for cleats, gardening shoes, a pair of flips you put on just to go outside, rain boots, Wellington's and most of Clay's work shoes.

Here is the problem.

Rarely, does a shoe make it to the rack unless I put it there. Rarely. I am thinking of putting a shoe basket right smack in front of the door and see if anyone will attempt to put their shoes in the basket since that's where they leave their shoes anyway. We would, of course, have to step over the basket coming in and out of the house and if it was big enough to house these many shoes it would be a burden for most of us to step over, especially Sophie. And since she is the main culpret it might be a good consequence... Maybe then she would respect the shoe rack.

Braggin on Myself

2011-03-21T21:30:00.002-05:00

So this weekend I accomplished something that I am sure proud of... I painted Landry's bedroom. Not only did I paint his room but I did it without any spills, no mess ups, no crazy paint lines everywhere and very little paint in my eyes. I am so proud. I want to bring small tours of people in and show them each corner and all of the little areas where I cut the paint in. I am so talented and patient. Wow! I impress me very rarely so this one is NICE!

In other news I am the only person in my house not sick at the moment. I just stopped what I was doing to go wake Landry up and give him some cough medicine. Clay actually went to the doctor on Saturday without me telling him to. Sophie is at the tail end of her snotty nose and spends all day clearing her throat and occasionally hacking up a loogie. She's funny!

Speaking of funny, She came home today with her writing from school. There was a drawing of our Vet visit with Pepper last week. Her writing said this, " Me and my mom took Pepper to the Vet. She got too shots. one was on top of her neck. the other one was on the bottume of her neck. and she got bloud took out her leg. their was a thing that they put in her Butt. it got poop out it was desking. the end.

The Injured Party

2009-11-20T21:47:00.003-06:00

Yesterday, I was up at my kid's school and one one of the wonderful TA's stopped me and let me know that Sophie got hurt during PE. My response was not one of panic because Sophie gets hurt every day. Sometimes, several times a day.

If someone is going to get hurt, it is going to be Sophie. If someone is going to let you know that they are hurt, it is going to be Sophie. So, needless to say, I was not surprised. I am, as they say, calloused to the various hurts, bruises, scrapes, bumps, bonks and falls that my poor daughter brings to the table. She is so dramatic about it all that I tend to listen to the problem, look at it, assess the situation and send her on her sad little way with a kiss and a hug and a get over it.

Which didn't serve me well today.

This evening the kids and I met a whole group of friends at a restaurant. As we were walking in, Sophie, ran into a railing and cut her chin open. I was walking in front of her and didn't see it happen. I just heard her wail and turned to see her wedged into the intricately designed railing. I thought to myself, "did your dumb self just stick your arms in a railing?" I walked back to her impatiently and a little embarrassed, to find that she was actually holding on to the railing to keep from falling out on the floor... and her chin was split open and bleeding...a lot.

I felt like a meanie. I felt like a mean ass. But seriously, who walks into a railing and splits their chin open? Craziness!

Needless to say, I ended up leaving the party to go to Walgreen's and purchase butterfly band aids to close the wound because it would not stop bleeding. We put them on and she acted wounded for about 15 minutes and then played with her friends as though she were a whole well child. Miracle of miracles! Every now and then she would remember that she was hurt and come find me with her sad eyes and start talking without moving her mouth. Once she used the sad eyes to ask for a "chocowate dessert".

I think she will be fine until we try to take off the band aids.

Maybe I will do it one night while I am NOT SLEEPING and she is. I can pick her up and put her in bed with Clay and I. Then I will pull off the band aids. If she wakes up I can blame it on Clay!

Hiding from the Jehovah's Witness and Other Nonsense

2009-11-09T11:20:00.002-06:00

9:00 a.m. Monday morning

I am walking through the house. I have just hung up the phone and am going back outside to work in my garden when I spy, coming up the sidewalk to my front door, three random people. I am suddenly struck with fear because I don't open my door to strangers, ever! I don't buy stuff from small children. I don't meet city council people campaigning. I don't entertain Mormon's. If I don't know you, my door isn't open. The problem with this rule of mine is that my house is very open. VERY. I have two giant windows in the study and dining room and large double front doors that are 70% windowed. From the front door, you can see through to the kitchen, living room, dining room, study and back patio. There is only one small wall in between the living room and the dining room. It is actually less than two feet wide. It became my hiding place this morning.

Seriously, I hid behind an 18 inch wall for about 5 minutes while these people rang my doorbell, commented on the decor of my house and finally walked away. If they had decided to come around and look in any of the windows, they would have seen me and after I chewed them out for trespassing, I would have felt really stupid for hiding.

Why I can't open the door and deal with these people is beyond me. I am not afraid of them. I just really want to avoid the whole encounter. I don't want to talk to them about their strange religious choices. I know I won't change their mind. They aren't changing mine. Also, there is the whole idea of opening your door to strangers when they could be dangerous. Why would I open my door to you if I do not know you. I have thought about putting a discreet little sign that says no soliciting please, but that is so crabby and Scroogish. Maybe I could get one that says:

Dear Jehovah's Witnesses, Mormon's, Roofing Companies, Campaigners, Small Cute Fundraising Children and anyone else who doesn't already know us,

Please don't ring our doorbell because we love Jesus. We believe he is the one true Son of God and is the only way that we will be getting to heaven. We are not changing our minds. You should check into why you believe what you believe.
When we need a new roof, we will call a roofer. You may leave your card.
We vote Republican. We read the papers and understand your position. Please do not put your sign in our yard. Unless, of course, you would like to pay us for advertising for you.
We have our own small cute fundraising kids. We buy from them.
We don't know you. We are not opening our door to you. It's not safe.
Thanks for your cooperation.

Of course this would be done in a tasteful chrome plaque with smiley faces and and a small sign under it that says "Smile your on Camera".

Drop Off, Pick Up, Look Sharp

2009-10-23T07:40:00.003-05:00

I have come to a place where I am not as vain as I used to be. Well, I may be the same amount of vain, but not at 7:55 a.m.!

There is a large group of women at my kid's school who look fabulous at drop off and pick up. I have never seen any of them looking like they just woke up and spent the last hour harassing small children only to kick them out of the car and yell, "I love you (despite my yelling and harsh attitude this morning)!" Their Hair is done, make-up on, clothes IRONED! They even have jewelry on (RH). They look great!

Since Landry started Kindergarten, I have been one of these people. Rarely have I been seen at school looking less than fresh and ready to go. I usually spend my 45 minutes in the morning running around making sure I was ready for the whole day before I stepped out of the door. Now, 4 years later, I am done! I get up, feed the people, make sure they have all that they need, wash my face, moisturize, throw on yoga clothes, put my head in a hat and head to school.

No make-up, no hair done, not remotely ready for anything but going back home. I find this to be so relaxing. So much so that sometimes 3:00 rolls around and I am still in the same condition. I throw my hat back on and head out the door to pick up my kids. To my surprise, no one has said, "Dang, what happened to you?"

Until yesterday, when I stopped by the local grocery store before pick up. I had taken off my make-up because I seem to be having an allergic reaction to my new mascara. My eyes were red and my hair was in a pony tail. I thought, no big deal. No one cares.

Except the goofy guy at the grocery store who asked me, "Why are you crying? You look terrible."

Terrible.

Dang, now I have to get dressed to go to the grocery store!!! Better yet, I think I will just go to a different grocery store!

Never Ending Battery Blunders

2009-10-16T13:18:00.002-05:00

When my kids were toddlers they were really into flashlights. Landry had several cartoon character flashlights that would run out of batteries so often that Clay finally bought him a nice rechargable one. Sophie never asked for a nice rechargeable one because it was plain black. Why have a black one when you can have Ariel or Cinderella or a hot pink and purple number? Know what I'm sayin'?

Sophie and I have purchased several flashlights in the past 6 years, whether we needed them or not. It seems at least once a month we would be walking through Target and she would spy a display of new flashlights hanging oh so unobtrusively in the toilet paper aisle, where they belong. I mean, how many times have you been sitting on the toilet and thought, you know I could use a Sleeping Beauty flashlight right about now? Anyway, I remember being enraptured myself by an Ariel flashlight with actual water and floating fish in it. It was a beauty. Of course we bought it. Who wouldn't?
This same flashlight turned up several weeks ago in need of batteries. I sat it on the counter in the laundry room and tried to remember to pick up size C batteries. After a couple of weeks I finally remembered the batteries! I got them home only to discover that this flashlight needs double A's, which of course, we are all out of. So, another couple of weeks go by with several trips to the grocery(and various other battery having) stores and I come home with no double A batteries. I walk into the house and the stupid flashlight is sitting there starring at me. Every couple of days Sophie sees it and asks about batteries until she finally says, "Are you ever going to get batteries for my Ariel flashlight? You go to the store all of the time!"

Snot butt!

Today I finally remember the double A batteries! I come home victorious, put them in, turn it on and.................nothing...................the bulb is burned out.

I think I am throwing it away. I will probably have to because I plan on runnimg it over with my car. I don't think it will work after that, battery or no battery!

Insomniacs Blog

2009-08-19T00:00:00.003-05:00

Have I told you that I am an insomniac? Yes, I have been officially diagnosed. I actually went to a sleep lab and did not sleep. So now I am officially an insomniac. I now have official insomniac drugs that are obviously not working tonight.

I have tried to sleep. I read my book in another room and once I was drowsy, I made my way to my soft, comfy bed where my husband was sleeping soundly. I rested my head on the cozy pillow and my brain turned on and it won't shut off. I tell you what, I have had some seriously deep discussions with many friends in my head this evening. I am pretty sure that I have solved some problem situations for some of my friends I have rebutted comments that people have made about me or in certain situations where I obviously feel the need to re butt. I have thought earnestly about what I am going to do when the kids are in school next week and what conversations I may have with my friends and family tomorrow on the very same subject. I have stopped my brain and tried to breath in a yoga rhythm while laying in a resting pose. I have sung varios songs, some of which were not restful. And finally, I have starred at my husband while he breaths deeply and twitches in the moonlight.

This starring has caused a chain of thoughts to permeate by brain, which I am a little ashamed of.
Bless me father for I have sinned.
I have harbored ill thoughts toward my husband while he lay unaware and frankly very vulnerable.

I have imagined kicking him out of the bed and laughing when he thuds, not knowing what hit him, to the ground. I have envisioned myself leaping from the bed in one swift catlike movement grabbing the pillow and pouncing on him, holding the pillow over his face until his slumber is completely disturbed. I have on one or more occasions actually pinched his nose together to see if he opens his mouth to breathe. He does. I did think about doing it again tonight. For sport.

This sounds totally mean...and it is.

I am just very envious of his ability to sleep. He seems to have no worries, no brain going ninety to nothing, no uncomfortability, just peaceful sleep. Peaceful, restful, slumber.

It eludes me. And it makes me think evil thoughts.

And since I'm still awake, wouldn't it be funny to draw a third eye on his forehead? Or I could pull all of the covers off of the bed, turn the ac down really low and go sleep upstairs. Hee Hee Hee heee

Oh geez, I think I will go read some more.

2 Hours of TV??? I don't think so!!

2009-07-09T13:37:00.002-05:00

This is a short installement. I promise to follow with more very soon, okay Janette??

You know your kid watches too much TV when she tells you a long and involved story about Candace..

And you ask. "Who is Candace?"

And she looks at you like your skin has turned green and she places her hand on her hip, kicks it out, cocks her head to the side, rolls her eyes and says, "Candace...is Phineas and Ferb's sisterrrrrrrr, DUH!"

Or when she is chasing her brother and his friend with what she refers to as the "Golden Pink of DOOOOMMM!" Which is the adorable pink lanyard from Disneyworld with the adorable trading pins that cost $6-12 each.

Or when she is sitting in the back seat of the car and she yells, "Mom, it's your money and you need it now!"

Or when she is about to scare her brother and she says, "I'm a bad, bad girl." and spanks her bottom.

Education!

Another installment of Language Arts and What is my Husband Teaching my Kid?

2009-03-20T21:23:00.002-05:00

Pissification - the process that water takes from the ground to the clouds and back down as rain again. (Landry explained this to Sophie like a professor in the car. Soph, already knew all about pissification)

Showing your Privacy - not sitting in a lady like position. ("Sophie stop showing us your privacy.")

At the rodeo this last week I look down to see Clay and Uncle Chicken (cousin Scott) and Landry betting actual cash money on the chuck wagon races. Landry lost. You think he would learn his lesson? NOPE

Tonight, after I peeked in to say goodnight to Lands while he and dad where reading books..oh..wait..no those aren't books...those are cards.

"What are ya'll doing?"
"We're playing a game where the first person to get to 200 wins 5 bucks."
"What are you teaching my son?"

"Uh, to uh, play cards for uh, money.?" sheepish grin.

So, where do boys learn this stuff, uh from, uh their uh, DADS!

The Name Game (Sometimes it just ain't right)

2009-03-12T21:24:00.005-05:00

This is for you, Alyson & Brooke....

I recently had a call from Landry's doctor's office. They said they needed to reschedule a a doctor's appointment for LAUNDRY McCook......Could LAUNDRY come on Tuesday instead of Monday?

Really?

Laundry?

Who in their right mind names their kid Laundry? Who in their right mind leaves a message for a kid that they think might be named Laundry without consulting someone in the office? Is this woman often confronted with odd names like Cheesecake Smith or Refrigerator Duncan?

Honestly...

I just wonder what makes people so dense?

I have been called many a name in my time. Tish, Tisha, Tasha, Tara, Tanya, Theresa...to name a few. It 's almost as if the person sees a few letters and that automatic text recognition thing comes on in their brain and overrides whatever is written, like on your cell phone. OH, don't get me started on that thing... it is so handy yet so frustrating. I can not tell you how many times I type tomorrow and end up with tomato. Because I often text people about tomatoes! Clay and I have a running text joke with the word "karate". Several times I tried to type "ok" and for some reason it kept sending "karate". After about the third "karate" he called to ask me what "karate" meant. So now, I often respond with "karate". Feel free to use it in your texting world. Maybe it will catch on. Karate?

Speaking of texting. Isn't it odd to say and hear people say "texted"? As in, "I just texted my friend." It just sounds wrong. It sounds kind of countryfried. I usually say, " I just sent my friend a text." Just to avoid having to say "texted".

Anywho, back to names. Today I heard a name that was just depressing. Someone actually knows somebody who knows somebody who told somebody about a baby who was named, Shithead (pronounced with a "th" sound). She was probably the sister of Lemonjello and Orangejello who are the cousins of Female and Male. Clay's cousins swear they went to school with Lemonjello and Orangello. You know if there really is someone out there with that bad of a name they probably take every opportunity to make fun of someone elses name. I bet they are the telemarketers who called my house several times asking for Mr. My Cock. No kidding. The first time I sat there in stunned silence before I said, "Seriously, did you really just ask for Mr. My Cock? I mean really? Are you that stupid or are you just really rude?"

The next time I just hung up, but now I have a wonderful comeback. Doesn't that always happen? You think of the best things to say after the fact? Next time I will say, " You mean Dr. My Cock the penile implant specialist? It sounds like you need an appointment. Or, where you looking for the Pull Your Head Out of Your Ass Clinic?

Good one, huh? I am waiting by the phone.

Karate!

Language Arts, Sorry No Farts

2009-02-03T08:53:00.002-06:00

Landry says the funniest things.
He really does.
When he is trying to be funny he isn't, but when he is being sincere and says something off the wall. He is really humorous.
A couple of weeks ago, he came downstairs and told me he was sure he had "the Shrek throat." I am sure that it felt as bad as it sounded. Can you just imagine him opening his mouth and his throat being all green and swollen with puss pockets and a swamp stench?

I could. This is how my imagination works.

Of course he did have strep throat and since he is so sensitive to it, we only missed out on one day of life. I usually bribe my kids with a toy if they choose a shot over 10 days of medication. Normally I put a price limit on it, like $10 or $20 depending on the severity of the shot. This time, before I even mentioned it, Landry said, "Mom, I will get the shot if you will get me a $5 prize at Target." I agreed post haste. He was a little disappointed when we went to Target and he realized there is not much you can get for $5.

Bummer! Hee Hee.

This morning on the way to school we were talking about Sophie's nickname, which is Cricket. I started calling her this when she was about 2. Her little voice sounded like a cricket chirp. As she grew older her fascination with bugs has made the name stick. She always has a bug in a cage somewhere. She will stop in the middle of whatever she is doing to examine and capture any bug or lizard that comes her way.
While we were talking about this, Landry said, "Sophie, I think you are going to be an Enchiladas when you grow up." He voiced this so sincerely and complimentary. So, I tried not to laugh until he said, "Mom, what is and Enchiladaness anyway?"

I couldn't hold it anymore. I laughed from Arkansas lane to Steeplechase Dr. The word he was looking for was Entomologist. Entomology is the study of bugs. I am positive that we may be one of 5 people in Tarrant county that know what an Entomologist is. I am also positive that Landry may be the only person ever to confuse bugs with enchiladas. Well, I guess it depends on what country you live in!

Somebody Farted

2009-01-27T16:14:00.002-06:00

Have you ever had one of those weeks where things seem to NOT be going your way....

Things like the time you turned into Godzilla and yelled mercilessly at your kids while they stared at you crying.

Or...when you turned into an absolute lunatic because you were ticked off about something and you took it out on your whole family and screamed at your husband.

Or...that time when you were pulling into a parking spot at school and you side swiped another vehicle.

Or...possibly this morning when you, once again, screamed at your kid when she pitched a stupid fit about her brand new shoes not fitting?

Have you had one of those weeks when everything you do makes you mad or goes wrong or doesn't please you in some way?

Is it just me?

Well, this has been that week. And I have desperately needed a change in my mood and the weather. I don't think I can take anymore gloomy, cold, foreboding days. I don't want to hear anymore bad news. I don't want to have to discipline any more kids. I don't want to have any more serious discussions with anyone about anything at all. I don't want to see a depressing movie. I don't want to eat boring food.

I need a break.

And today, thank you God, I got one and it came in the most obnoxious and hysterical way.

My friend, Jill and I were at yoga.

We had just finished savasana (which is a resting pose at the end of a yoga) when we were told to roll on to our right side and rest for a minute.....
the room was totally silent until...somebody FARTED!!!!!!!!

I am not talking about a toot. No siree. This was a fart! Somebody let one rip......right at the end of yoga.

Listen, I am not now, nor have I ever pretended to be, a mature adult person. I tried with all my might to ignore it and continue my relaxation. I tried with all my might not to look at Jill.
I tried.
I failed!

Somehow we caught each others eye and we both lost control. While all the other mature adult people were sitting up and quietly finishing the practice, Jill and I remained in child's pose with our arms over our heads trying desperately to not make any noise as we laughed and cried uncontrollably.

There was snot coming out of my nose. I could not see for the tears and I could not quit laughing. I would try to stop and then I would hear Jill gasping for breath and I would just lose it again.

Needless to say, we remained in this position until the whole class, sans the teacher, left the room. Then we finally got up and laughed and cried some more, out loud. Then we went to Starbucks and laughed some more. Then I called a bunch of people and told them about it. It has made my day. It has made my whole week.

There is something so timeless about fart jokes.

P.S. I realized why I have been such a shrew this week. I should be taking my hormones!!!! I am going to have to calendar this stuff or I will have to keep contributing money to my kids counseling funds.

Landry gets baptized by Doc

2008-12-15T21:17:00.000-06:00

Another more important event happened this weekend. Landry was baptized. It was a fun day because he was baptized along with his friend, Lauren Nevil, by my dad on Hanging of the Green Sunday.
The Hanging of the Green is the kick off to the Christmas season at our church, LABC. It is a long standing tradition that I was a part of as a teenager and hopefully, someday my kids will get to be a part of. Yet again, one of the cool things about growing up in a church and continuing to serve and be a part of the same church as an adult is tradition and memories. I am proud to say that my roots are deep. We have a wonderful church home and I have worked hard to serve God here even when it was hard. I know that my kids are growing to love the Lord and that they see what it takes to be part of a church family. At least right now, my perseverance is paying off.

Landry invited 75 of his friends and family to his baptism and 50 came. Some who haven't been to church before, some who were looking for a church and some who we have been praying for. We took up the first 5 pews in a section that my friends roped off for us. (Perks)

I have to say, I am proud of him. Grinning from ear to ear, PROUD.

One down, one to go.

City Champs!

2008-12-15T20:55:00.000-06:00

Well, they did it! The second grade Cougars are city champs and lovin it. The boys played a tough game and won the game. I hate to say this but I don't remember the score. It was too exciting. Landry is the on the second row, second kid from the left. We got trophies and, more importantly, spirit sticks.

Finally, Something to Say!!

2008-11-22T21:54:00.013-06:00

Okay, America, after many weeks of silence I finally have something to say. I have found my voice and I have lots to post about.

I must start off by formally announcing that the 2nd grade Cougars beat the pants off of the Vikings today (32-13) in their first ever playoff game. In an act of good sportsmanlike conduct I hugged the Vikings coach, who was once a friend of mine, and said, in a sincere voice, "I am so sorry we kicked your tail today." He took it very well, I think.
The Cougars will play the Bobcats in the championship game on December 6th and we are all pretty excited. I would say that the Cali friends should come in for the game, but this is expensive and they are only 7. You have many years ahead of you to come watch my son snap a ball in between his legs with his head upside down and deliver it perfectly to the QB every time. Tempting isn't it!?! If you can't make it, we'll send you the DVD!

There has been so much happening in between football games and practices. We will begin with Sophie's 5th birthday party. It was a Hello Kitty Extravaganza. She asked for a Hello Kitty party at home and she wanted our friend, Mr. Rod, (KZ Rod from KCBI) to do his puppet show for the kids. Rod makes puppets out of things like vacuum cleaner hoses, wrapping paper tubes and random stuff. The kids go crazy. They absolutely love it. She also wanted his 11 year old son, Benjerben (Benjamin), to have a sword fight with Landry. A duel, as it were, over her friend, Sara. She talked about it for months. I just kind of ignored this request, since I thought it was kind of stupid and hoped that she would forget it. But Ben, in his preciousness, showed up prepared. Instead of a sword fight, Benjerben did a magic show for the kids. It was perfect. He finished it up and Sophie came to me and said, "So, when is the sword fight?" I promptly introduced her to another helping of cake.

The party was great. All the kids had their faces painted like kitty's. They had kitty ears (compliments of my mother). They made kitty cupcakes (compliments of my mother). They ate kitty cake and kitty ice cream and opened kitty presents and then we all threw up kitties and passed out on the floor. Actually, it went very smoothly (compliments of my mother :).

So, now that Sophie is five I must tell you the excellent things she has learned in the past three weeks. I am warning you, this is not for the faint of heart or the home schooled...

1. You may not color your entire leg with an orange marker.
2. It is not okay to cut yourself some bangs.
3. It is inappropriate for a 5 year old to tell their brother, or anyone for that matter, that you are going to kick their ass.
4. Pecker means wiener and it is not a nice word especially when you are singing about peckers to the tune of deep and wide. ie. "pecker and pecker, pecker and pecker there's a mountain flowing with peckers and peckers." If there is a mountain flowing with peckers, I do not want to go there!!!
5. Nothing surprises your mother any more.

What's funny is, she is so embarrassed about all of these things. She does not want me to tell anyone anything that she says or does. I would respect this request of hers if it wasn't for the c-section scar on my stomach that gives me the right to say anything I want to anyone I want for the rest of my life. And if she keeps being so danged funny I will keep invoking that right!!!!

Missing my friend!

2008-11-04T09:27:00.008-06:00

Okay, I have been trying to post for a week now and never seem to be able to finish. My funny bone is broken and I think it will take a while to heal and even then it will never be the same. So I struggle to write this blog today. One, because it is hard to see this in print. Two, because I can't see what I am typing when my eyes won't stop leaking!!!
This past week my precious friend, Jessica Kaylor, went to be with the Lord. http://jessicakaylor.blogspot.com/ . Jessica bravely fought cancer for the past three years. She would get through one battle only to find out that she had another battle to fight. She seemed to always get back on the horse. She was a strong warrior. Doing what it took to keep on living life to the fullest. I honestly didn't think she would die so soon. I truly thought she would have many more years. I have to say that I have been blindsided and the sorrow that I feel is overwhelming. When I found out that the cancer had spread so dramatically and the cancer treatments had broken her body down so much that there was nothing else the doctors could do to prolong her life, I began praying constantly that God would heal her in a miraculous way and that if his will wasn't to heal her here on earth that he would take her quickly and not let her suffer. Even though my heart is aching over the loss of my friend who is a wife of my friend and a fabulous mother to my sweet Katy, Jadyn and Bryn. I am so thankful that he took her to be with him as gently as he could.

I remember the first day I met Jessica. She was visiting our church with her mom, Judy and her aunt, Sandy McNutt. Her daughter Katelyn was 2 1/2 or 3 at that time. Clay and I were teaching a preschool Sunday school class. We had the same group of kids since they were 6 months old. We loved them. Katy came in the class surrounded by Jess, Judy and McNutt. I think that fireworks went off when Sandy and I saw each other. She introduced me to Jess and Katelyn and told me to take care of them and love them. When Sandy tells me to love someone, I know they are worth the effort and because she had already showered so much love on me I had plenty to shower on her loved ones.

I remember thinking that Jess was so quiet and not as exuberant as her aunt Sandy but Katelyn was a whole other story. It only took about 5 minutes for me to see that I wasn't dealing with an ordinary child. She was confident and clever and so very adorable with a head full of reddish brown curls. Katy fit into our little crowd of already much loved and adored kiddos without missing a beat. She was easy to love. I know now that when someone loves your kids you love them just because they love your kids. Jess trusted me with Katelyn for two years and I am so lucky to have had that opportunity.

For the past few days I have a movie of Jessica moments playing in my head. I am amazed at how many things I remember and how many times something she said or something she did changed my life. I always loved being with her because she was so peaceful. She calmed me. I felt peaceful around her. I have tried for years to model her patient tone of voice and calm demeanor. Try as I may, it just isn't me. When I would talk to her about something that was troubling me she would listen and then very thoughtfully express her opinion. Even if it was different than mine, she never made me feel stupid or less spiritual. This is important because we Christians have a way of deciding who is spiritual and who isn't based on our own flawed judgement. I never realized until a few years ago that Christians are so hard on each other. We are so worried about the speck in someone else's eye when we have a whole log cabin blocking our view!!! Jessica never picked at my log cabin and I don't ever recall seeing a speck in her eye. She wasn't perfect, but she was extraordinary.

When she was diagnosed with cancer, I told her that I didn't know what to say or how to handle this and she said, it was alright she didn't know either and we would figure this out since she was my first "cancer friend". She said it so sing songie. We laughed even though we wanted to cry. A year or so later I told her that I had decided that she wasn't going to be my "cancer friend". She was just Jessica to me. If I wanted an update on the cancer stuff I would go to the blog, but with me she just got to be Jessica, my friend. And that she was! I prayed for her constantly and she continued to be a great friend even when she wasn't feeling well. She is one of the reasons that I do a lot of the stuff that I do right now. She encouraged me to transfer my kids to Wood. She encouraged me to be on the PTA board. She inspired me to do the Weekend Backpack program and she is the reason I will continue it for as long as there is a need. She inspired me to love some people that I had a hard time loving. She built me up and encouraged me on a regular basis. She let me be me and loved me for who I am. She was goodness and light and I miss her.

Katy girl, I know you and Chandler are reading this and I am going to tell you that you are blessed beyond measure to have your mom in your life. She isn't physically here anymore but she left obvious imprints on so many lives. I can name names if you want me to. Did you see all of the people at her memorial service. I think she would be a little embarrassed but she would have handled it with the grace that she handled everything. I am so proud of you and how you have let people love you through this. I am so proud of your dad and the grace and strength that he has allowed God to show through him. For the rest of our lives we will have fun telling Jadyn and Bryn stories about your mom. Someday, we will be able to share these stories without our funny bone aching so much. I love you guys. Thank you God for Jessica Kaylor!!!!

Tomorrow I will tell you some funny things!!!!

New Doctor

2008-10-21T14:03:00.002-05:00

I am going to a new doctor today. I spent the better half of last night filling out his 97 new patient forms. Every question about every body part imaginable. Several insurance forms where I gave the exact same information several times. Every disclosure imaginable.

In case of emergency whom do we notify?
In case of an emergency happening to the person whom we call in case of emergency whom do we notify?
You realize there is a law that says we can only release your medical info to the people you specify...
To whom can we release your medical information?
In case of an emergency happening to the person whom we can release your medical information to, whom should we call?
In case your pinkie finger gets lodged in our equipment, whom do we call and can we release your information to this person?
Do you solemnly swear not to sue us at any time for any reason whatsoever so help you God?
If , in the event, you do choose to sue us, this is whom you should contact..........Oh, and we are not responsible for anything that goes on in this office or any other office. However, it is your responsibility to make sure that you pay on time, ask pertinent questions, deal with your own insurance and know that we are only dealing with you and your insurance as a courtesy to you. You must call our office 24 hours in advance to postpone or reschedule your appointment. If you are a new patient, you need to be here 30 minutes early to fill out our whopping load of paperwork. If you are an existing patient, you need to be here 15 minutes early just so we can make you wait in our ridiculously cold waiting room for as long as we so desire. If at any time you are not satisfied with the care you receive from this office, you have every right to find a new doctor. However, we will bill you for each and every visit and any future thoughts of trying us again. Also, we may bill your insurance for more than you actually owe because, they are insurance and they deserve it. Please sign attached form and make sure your legal guardian signs it, too. Oh, and don't forget the drop of blood.

I'm signing it, but I am adding my own disclosures. I, Tessa McCook, do solemnly swear to adhere to your rules and regulations IF you adhere to mine.....
1. The doctor will see me within 15 minutes of my scheduled time. If not, he refunds my $20 copay and a latte.
2. Nurses and staff will not ask me to stand on the damn scale every time I walk into the office. Unless, you want to do it with me. If you stand your happy ass on the scale after I do, I might feel a little better.
3. Do not assume that I am stupid or haven't done my research.
4. Do not put me on any medication that requires being checked into a mental facility without actually checking me into a mental facility. (and it needs to be a nice one)
5. If you tell me that I am about to feel a little pressure and it actually hurts, I get to kick you. So, be honest.

I"ll let you know if he signs it!

Walking the dogs and poop nonsense

2008-10-20T09:40:00.002-05:00

Recently, Oprah had a show on civility. They discussed rude behaviours, etiquette and do's and dont's in polite society. I found this show very interesting. Especially, in the category of walking your dog and what to do with your dog's doodoo. See, I live next to a park where I frequently, though not nearly enough, walk my dogs, Audrey Hepburn and Pepper Hepburn. The Hepburn's love a good walk and they can't possibly go without some kind of elimination along the way. Our park has convenient little poop collection bags all along the pathway and although I consider this a very lovely idea, I rarely take advantage of them. I don't want to pick up dog poop. If they poo on the pavement, yes. If they poo in the grass in a spot where I don't think someone will wander into, no. It is dog poop. It is a park. There are squirrels everywhere pooping away the day. My dogs tiny little turd will decompose in a few days and it will enhance the very nature of the park. I don't want to pick it up and I don't think it is necessary.
On the other hand, let's say I had a big Lab or Rott and this dog pooed in the park (I would never own one of these large, hairy, smelly beasts) I would take along one of those big metal pooper scoopers and gladly deposit the mountainous poo in the trash can.

I am pretty sure that O and the other etiquette police feel that you should always scoop the poop no matter what. I disagree. I feel that there should be guidelines to follow about when and where you should scoop. For instance, you should never leave poo in someones well manicured lawn. That is just wrong!
DO YOU HEAR ME GUY DOWN THE STREET WITH THE LITTLE BROWN DOG?
I think if you do this you deserve to have the same poo put in a bag and lit on fire on your front porch. (If I were someone who picked up poop, I would do this!)

You should never leave poo of any size on a walking path, even if the path is not paved. It is still a path for walking and one should not have to worry about walking in your dogs poop.

You should never leave it in a play area. Have you ever had to clean dog poop off you toddler's shoe with a wipey? Not good, my friends, not good.

I feel these are some pretty good guidelines to start with.

After saying all of this about dogs I do feel it is my duty to confront the cat people. For some reason you guys think it is perfectly fine to allow your precious cats to roam about the neighborhood pooping in our flower beds, peeing on our front porches and napping on our patio furniture. This is NOT okay. It is nasty.
We have a grey cat that thinks my flower beds are toilets. I am going to start using Landry's air soft guns to shoot it with little bee bees when I see it. Maybe that will get my point across. OH, maybe I could use it on the man with the little brown dog. Beware!!!!

Language Arts & Farts

2008-10-15T19:46:00.002-05:00

This evening Landry was reading to me. He has been working on emphasizing the bold and uppercase words. Tonight he decided to sing them. After one such performance, he held this funny pose and said, "I'm Oprah." He meant opera. Completely funny!

Sophie was walking around singing this evening as well. Her song went something like this, "old acquaintance be forgot, I got a grand old car.."

Starbuck's Shock

2008-10-11T21:30:00.002-05:00

I don't know how to begin.
I am in shock.
Seriously, total and complete shock.
I am aware that our economy is in dire straits. I am aware that gas cost as much as a labotomy and exploritory surgery. I know that I, personally, have stopped any random and frivolous spending, but I never expected this. And, since I do not watch the news or read the papers (as my dad says) I have been blindsided by some distressing news. So, just in case you are anything like me and would rather watch Entertainment Tonight than World News, BRACE YOURSELF.

Starbucks is closing 600 stores! 600! Stores!

4 of which are very, conveniently located close to me. Cooper and Arbrook, Cooper and Bardin, Cooper and Green Oaks and Collins St. The only reason I am aware of this mad fact on this most beautiful, however depressing, day is because I happened upon one of the closed stores.

Cooper and Arbrook.

Sophie and I were buying some new white Keds at Just Kids Shoes (an excellent kid shoe store). We generally make our shoe purchase, peruse Kid to Kid's bow selection and make our way over to Starbucks for a Venti Iced Green Tea with two Splenda's for me and a kids apple juice for Soph. When I saw the brown paper covering all of the windows I assumed that they were remodeling. Bummer for my tea craving, cool for my sense of style. When I asked the JKS owner what was going on he very casually said, "They closed it down."
I felt a little faint. I had to sit down so as not to disturb the perfect placement of all the shoes lining the walls. Once I caught my breath, I said, "Crazy say what?" (real fast and with a hick accent like Miley Cyrus, go back and say it again) He said, "Yeah, 4 days ago. They just came in and closed it down. They announced in July that they were closing over 400 stores." The room started spinning, my heart stopped and I blacked out. Somehow, I walked out of there with a new pair of shoes and two bundles of socks. It's all a blur. For shizzle, we are in trouble people!!!

When a powerhouse like Starbucks closes 600 (is this a magic number?) stores in less than a year, we have a problem. I know very few people who do not frequent Starbucks. I am there much more often than I should be. However, even I have, for the last several months, started making my own IGT2S at home and only buying one when I am out and completely Jonesing. So I say to you, America, (say this like Bernie Mac RIP) we are in trouble. Who would have thought in a million years that Starbucks would be in this situation. These is crazy days, people!

Language Arts

2008-09-19T08:13:00.002-05:00

On the way home from school, Landry asked me if I knew what an addiction was. I slowly and curiously answered, "yeeesss". He then asked me if I knew how to make an addition out of a book. I said, "I can see how that could happen." "Well," he said, " I have to make a book report everyday but before I do it, I have to make an addiction out of it." When we got home I looked at his folder and understood that he meant "prediction". He has to make a prediction about the book based on the cover. Funny funny!

Yesterday, we stopped at old faithful (Starbucks) to get the always craved for Venti Iced green tea with two Splendas. Landry had an apple cider. After a minute he said, "You know this isn't real apple cider." "It isn't?" I asked. "No, real apple cider has mashed up pieces of apple and is kind of like ice cream. We read about it in a book what was real. It had a table of consonants in it. So, that means it's real."

Landry Asks Jesus Into His Heart

2008-09-10T20:47:00.000-05:00

This summer Landry made an exciting decision. He asked Jesus into his heart. He has talked to us about it for a year or two and we have always encouraged him to let us know when he is ready to make that decision. This year my mom took Landry and Sophie to the last couple of days of Children's Camp. On Thursday, he called me to ask if it was okay if he went down and talked to Mr. Don, our children's pastor, and let him know that he has asked Jesus into his heart and he wants to be baptized. Clay and I hightailed it up to Glen Rose (we were in San Antonio) to be there when he walked up the aisle. He was so sure and excited. It was really cool to be there and witness him making such an important choice on his own. We were blessed to have our very own Shea Jenkins counsel with Landry after he made is decision. When they came back to the gym, Shea said that he told Landry that it was cool to watch him do this because his parents and grandparents are part of why he is a Christian. I told him, likewise. His mom and dad played an integral role in my own Christianity. It is so fulfilling to be a part of a church for so long. To have roots so deep that I have no doubt why I am who I am. I am thankful to God that he has allowed me the opportunity to give this to my kids as well.

Soon, Landry will be baptized and we are having a big party afterwards to celebrate!

Normal State of Living

2008-09-04T21:55:00.003-05:00

I think I am finally getting back to normal. I no longer feel bad. I feel pretty well except for a little cough that I am sure is a virus of some sort. Because we all know it is not enough to detox! Seriously, I don't feel the really bad side effects any longer. The only thing I am contending with now is brain fog. I forget everything. I can have a list of all I need to do and forget the list or bring the list and still forget to do everything on the list. I do things like put refrigerated items in the pantry or spray deoderant on my hair instead of hairspray. I know that some of this is normal, but doing these kinds of things several times a day isn't normal and extremely frustrating. The muscles in my body ache and I am having a hard time sleeping and then waking up in the morning because I finally get into a deep sleep sometime around 5 or 6 am. Things are looking up, though and I have not gone back into a depression, which I was afraid of.

I tell you these things only to be open about it so that if anyone else is going through this they might read this and realize that these are actual symptoms of drug detox and not just craziness that they alone are feeling. I thought I was just acting crazy and then started reading info on the internet and realized that I was feeling typical withdrawl symptoms. It made me realize that I can battle this and not give up and get back on a drug that I didn't need. So, if this helps, then fabulous!!

Detox, First Day of School and Other Items of Interest

2008-08-27T17:20:00.006-05:00

Faithful few...thank you for sticking with me and thank you for all of your heartfelt requests for a new post from me. As some of you know I have been detoxing. For REAL! 14 months ago, I went through an inexplicable depression I couldn't get myself out of. I prayed fervently and God told me to go see my doctor who prescribed Effexor.

Now, before you go and judge me for being a drug hound you should know a few things. First, yes, I am all for drugs. Mood altering, snot removing, pain deterring, natural, chemical, natural chemical...whatever works I believe in drugs. I also believe that God put people on this planet with medical knowledge to help us get rid of disease, sickness, chemical imbalances, mental issues, erectile dysfunction and various other problems. God made it very clear to me that I was to follow the advice of my physician because he has endowed her with knowledge and skills to help me. Just like he endowed me with the ability to create, decorate and beautificate.

So, I leaned not unto my own understanding and followed His lead. Now, I am coming off of the Effexor and trying to have a go at life without this enhancer and it is not pretty! Honestly, someone should have let me go to rehab. Preferably, the one in Utah that LiLo went to. I have been a miserable turd for about three weeks but mainly the last 6 days. This is when I stopped the taper down and went cold turkey. I have been shaky, dizzy, sleepy, not sleepy, hot, cold, shivering, sweating, starving, nauseous, weak, mean, weepy and irritable and my head hurts!!!!. It is rotten. I have improved in the last two days, but it is still a far cry from "normal". Whatever that is!?!

I have been fortunate to have some awesome friends who have supported me and have been praying for me. My wonderful husband helps me pick up the pieces and only makes fun of me every now and then and my kids, well, there will be counseling set up for them in the future.

All this to say, this is why I haven't posted in a while. So, now that you have been updated on me you should know that Landry's first week of second grade has gone so very well! He has a lovely teacher, Mrs. Ann Jebsen. Those who have had her in the past sing her praises to us. So far he has been very happy and such a sweet kid. He sets his alarm each morning and is up and at em right away. When he started Kindergarten we had a picture chart of things he did before he watched cartoons on school mornings. He would take each picture down as he completed the task. This was fun and helped get my kids mindset to a routine each morning. Three years later it is like clockwork.

Sophie starts preschool at Holy Cross Lutheran Preschool next Tuesday and she gets to go to the Fort Worth Museum of Science and History's school. How fun!! I am a little envious.

What you are wearing is hurting my face!

2008-08-18T22:15:00.003-05:00

We recently had a wonderful photographer come over to our house and take a gazillion pictures of our family. For some reason, every time we asked Landry to smile he gave us this one eyed pirate face. Actually, it looks like he just bit into a lemon. He couldn't help it. He just kept giving us this grin. So, it is now entered into the McCook book of Chronicles.

Anyway, I thought this was a nice segue to my newest blog objective, which is to help people help themselves by listening to my uncensored advice about fashion choices. This is sort of a "What Not to Wear" by me. If you have noticed there are several of these shows on TV. There is the aforementioned show, Carson Kresley's "How to Look Good Naked", "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" and many others. However, some people are still not getting it and I feel this is the perfect forum to "hep somboddy". Halleluer!

First topic of conversation...White Pants

White pants are excellent. White pants worn right are excellent! This means you must follow these rules.

1. White pants may not be tight pants. If you take your pants off and have an indention from the seam still on your skin, they are too tight! If they are smooth across the backside and you could possibly show a movie on your derriere, they are too tight! Get a bigger size! There is no shame in your size number. There is shame in tight pants!

2. You must wear nude colored panties with white pants. You can not wear a white thong. WE CAN SEE IT! It is all we are looking at. No one is saying, "Look at that cute girl in her white pants." Nope, they are singing the "Thong Song" to themselves and thinking you obviously don't own a mirror. (Obviously, if you are a mocha colored friend you need to wear mocha colored panties. This is your nude.)

3. Straighten out your pockets. This is a pet peave. It just looks better. Nuf said.

If anyone has anything to add, please do. Also, if you are my friend, please know that I am not writing about white pants because of any of you. It's because I am noticing a frightening trend amongst the common folk. We gotta help the masses conform to our good fashion sense. After all, it's only right.

Mimi's First Visit to Texas

2008-07-29T20:48:00.000-05:00

This is our precious Miana Leta Marie Sturm. Isn't she a doll baby! On her first visit to Texas she was snuggled and cuddled and completely admired by all, especially Sophie. Sophie couldn't get enough of her. She told me over and over again how she wished she could have a baby sister. Sorry sister, you are all the baby sister I can handle!

Forgiveness is Golden

2008-07-28T15:52:00.003-05:00

I don't know if you have noticed, but my little Landry is not the skinny bean pole that I was at his age. No one tries to see if they can pick him up because he is so tiny. No one asks if he has a tapeworm. No one calls him toothpick. He has a perfectly rounded little brown belly and I, personally, think it is adorable. His skinny friends, however, are not always so kind and he has had his feelings hurt more than once in the last year.

This summer at Camp Thurman, Landry came home and told me that two of his friends, let's call them Jeff and Tom, called him fat. I said, "Landry, the next time Jeff calls you fat you tell him "I'm not fat. I am muscly and the next time you call me fat I'll use these muscles to kick your scrawny tail!" He loved it. I also made a mental note to talk to Jeff and Tom's parents and let them know that their kids weren't playing nice.

Later that week, I had a conversation with Tom's aunt.
Who had a conversation with Tom's mom.
Who had a conversation with Tom which went something like this...
"Tom, did you call Landry fat?"
"No."
"Tom, they have video cameras at Camp Thurman and if I have to I will go there and watch them. Now, tell me the truth. Did you call Landry fat?"
"No, mommy, I promise. I didn't call him anything."
"Did you stand next to someone when they called him fat?"
"No, mommy, I promise."
"We don't ever call anyone fat, do you understand? It hurts feelings. It isn't nice. We do not call people fat."
"I promise I won't, please don't hit me with that hanger. Please don't beat the tar out of me. Please, please, please..."

Well, the last part is exaggerated, but I thought the dialogue was getting boring. :)

A week later, Landry and I are having the "fat conversation" again and I told him that I spoke with Tom's aunt. He gave me a puzzling look and said, "Tom never called me fat."
"You told me he did. You said Jeff and Tom. You told me he did."
"I think I made a mistake because Tom never called me fat. Can you apologize to his mom for me?"

OH NOOOOOOO! (that is sort of what I said)

Later that night, I saw Tom's mom who told me about the conversation she had with Tom and I, in turn, told her about the conversation I had with Landry. Then I found poor Tom and told him how wrong I was and how sorry I was and would he forget the whole thing if I gave him $5. This precious boy, graciously forgave me. He just said, 'That's okay." and went on about his business.

Lesson learned, check and recheck the story. Also, there is a time when you should let your kid fight his own battles. Arm him with loving kindness, diversionary tactics and a possible snide remark and send him out to fight for himself. This may save you some face!

Butterfly's Galore

2008-07-07T23:11:00.000-05:00

Sophie is holding her very own butterfly. We ordered a live butterfly garden from Insect Lore at www.insectlore.com . They started out as caterpillars in a cup that came with an all you can eat buffet on the bottom of it. After about a week they turned into chrysalides and then finally came out as butterflies. We hold them and chase them around the house. It has been a fascinating project. I am hoping to let them out in our garden this week so that we don't have any "lizard like" deaths again!

Fruit Cakes & Fruit Salad

2008-07-01T13:35:00.000-05:00

Look at this beautiful tropical picture. This was the view from our wrap around balcony in Fort Lauderdale, FLA. Each day we would take in the view and much to our surprise the NAKED men sunbathing at the pool in the small hotel next to ours. Naked as the day they were born. Sitting completely spread eagle tanning their apples and banana for all the world to see!

I have no comment. What could I possibly say that you aren't already thinking! I concur

Landry is 7!

2008-06-09T17:27:00.000-05:00

We had a smokin hot birthday party at Alley Cats on Friday. Landry had a few of his friends. They disco bowled, played laser tag and video games. It was a lot of fun. Each kid left with a real bowling pin as their party favor as well as whatever cool prizes they were able to purchase with tickets. Landry had a ball and the best thing about it was that I did not lift a finger. Everything was taken care of for me. I didn't even send out cool invitations. I sent the invites they gave me and it was just fine. Just fine indeed!

Audrey Hepburn is FAT

2008-06-09T17:22:00.000-05:00

This is the epitome of lazy! Audrey Hepburn, our "miniature" schnauzer is sitting her big self on her pillow eating her dinner. Seriously, is this Rome? Just look at her licking her chops! She is in hog heaven. What she doesn't know is that I am putting her on a diet. Audrey Hepburn is fat! I wonder if the real Audrey Hepburn was ever on a diet? I bet not. I also bet that no one, except me has ever uttered the words, "Audrey Hepburn pooped in the playroom." or "Audrey Hepburn just threw up and ate it." Or " I had to pull a dryer sheet out of Audrey Hepburn's butt last night." Maybe the first two, but I guarantee no one has said the last one! I can't even believe that I have said it!

Jungle Girl kills with Love

2008-06-09T17:15:00.000-05:00

This, my friends, is what happens when you leave a lizard in a bug catcher for God knows how long. Sophie found this unfortunate pet today in her playroom. He used to be a lovely shade of green. If I remember correctly, she caught him about two weeks ago. I remember this because he was missing the end of his tail and this one seems to have the same defining characteristic. I thought she would be sad when I told her that he wasn't sleeping, he was dead, but all she said was, "That's gross!" and promptly dumped him out on the sidewalk in the front yard.

Sophie the Jungle Girl

2008-05-26T14:33:00.001-05:00

Okay, I have been meaning to add some wordage to this picture. This is my dainty little girl. She loves pirates, which she calls "captains" and she loves lizards, bugs, dogs, cats, mice, bunnies and critters of any sort. She spends most of her time looking for and talking to doodle bugs. She has several bug catchers, but most of the time she likes to hold them. Sometimes I will find her in the back yard petting our neighbors stinky black labs. She calls them her "little black friends." She wants a big black lab of her own. I told her when she is 21 and she doesn't live with me anymore she can have a big smelly, shedding dog. She can't wait. She is Bindi the jungle girl.

I think she will be a vet. She has this ability to talk to animals and get them to do what she wants. She caught this lizard in the front yard and kept him for two days before I made her let him go. She put him down and he stayed right where he was. She picked him up and moved him several times trying to find the best spot for him. He would look at her like, "are you sure you want to let me go?" He finally scurried away and Sophie went on her quest for a new "little fella" to play with.

Early Childhood Education

2008-05-11T22:24:00.002-05:00

Remember, when I told you about the prank calling incident? Well, here is another one for the books. Last Wednesday was field day for the 1st graders at Wood Elementary. Do you remember field day? Sack races, three legged races, 50 yard dash, hula hoop, giant pickles and snow cones!!! Fun, serious fun! This was Landry's 1st field day and I was as excited as he was. I even volunteered to help with the concession stand for the last half of the day. So, I was there all day. So long, in fact that I forgot to pick up Sophie from school and had to pay the late fee. I would love to have seen me running through the halls of Wood rounding up my people and saying, "hurry, we are late to pick up Sophie and she is going to be so mad." Luckily, I had prudently purchased her a ring pop at the concession stand and brought it in with me as a peace treaty. I am glad to say it worked and she was happy as a lark.
Anyway, back to field day. Landry competed in the 75 yard dash and won a 3rd place ribbon, the basketball toss with a first place ribbon, something else with a fourth place ribbon, hula hoop with a thanks for trying smile and he also brought home the coveted PINK participation ribbon. We used to get green participation ribbons. What is wrong with green? If it ain't broke....

Anyway,I found myself during the sack race screaming and yelling and really wanting our kids to win. At one point I glanced behind me and noticed that I was the only one from our class who was, shall we say, thoroughly involved. I began to feel a little stupid until I noticed my friend, we will call her Tammy Taylor, nearly foaming at the mouth as she cheered her team on. I then realized that there is really something wrong with the other parents. IT'S A COMPETITION BABY!!!! We got second place and that is okay because we smoked everybody in the running events and I think we will win the tug of war that will be held next week sometime. I have been letting Landry pull the car up the driveway to build up his strength. :)

Okay, so after field day the kiddos get to come to the concession stand and spend their parents money on health food like nachos, hot dogs, pickles, and candy, candy and more candy. Then the teachers let them sit on the basketball courts and sugar themselves up just before they send them home. During the sugar fest, I was talking with Landry's teacher, the fabulous Mrs. Ware, when another teacher came up and put her arms around us and said, "Your class is playing spin the bottle," then she looked at me with a twinkle in her eye and said, "and it was your son who started it." She giggled while Mrs. Ware and I simultaneously said, "WHAT????"

Needless to say, we casually walked over to see what was going on and Mr. McCook stopped spinning the bottle and looked away. We asked what was going on and were met with a cacophony of answers all pointing to the culprit....duh duh duh.....Landry H. McCook. We were told that they were playing "kiss the bottle" and that when the bottle pointed to a particular person that person had to kiss the bottle. They were told to put the bottle in the trash and not play the game anymore.
Later, I asked Landry where he got the game. 1st he said his friend Alex. I could tell he wasn't telling the truth and I gave him the look. Then he told me that he just made it up. Seriously, what is next? I don't even want to know! That's my boy!

Language arts and Farts!

2008-04-22T12:19:00.003-05:00

Here I am with another installation of Language Arts: Yesterday, the kids and I went to my moms house to have fajitas for dinner. Landry walked in and asked my mom if he could see the "Fohobos" we were having for dinner. He was serious, then he was embarrassed. It's funny that he gets embarrassed when I tell stories about him. Nobody needs to let him know about this blog!

Ok, Farts...after reading this please see my Kevin's latest posting about farts at www.nextgendads.com .

Sophie and Clay were wrestling on the floor in the living room. She was giggling and having so much fun as he was playing with her. Suddenly, she stopped and said, "Dad you need to go to the potty and poop. You tooted and your bottom smells like poop." Followed by peels of laughter.

Funny kids!

P.S. If you are offended by potty humor you have no business reading my blog! :)

Updates and Correction to Previous Post

2008-04-16T18:27:00.002-05:00

Chrystal told me that Kevin spent 3 hours fixing my blog. I figured that since he is a techno junkie genius boy wonder it would have only taken him 10 minutes to redo my blog. Since it has already taken me 12- 16 hours, several headaches and many curse words later and I still do not know how to change a dang thing on the blog. A friend of mine has music on her blog. I am good to get the pictures up. Some people have it and some people don't!

Okay, next...I forgot to say a few things on my death blog. I do want my fam to donate whatever is usable on me to whomever needs it. I have taken some pretty good care of my stuff. Someone deserves to live with my goods after I am gone. The Sturms both said this in their comments and I was really talking about what happens after all that stuff. I meant to give direction to what is to be done with my shell after the harvesting my what nots. Someone should take my eyes. They are 20/20 I have never had a problem with them and I eat carrots. Wouldn't it be funny for someone to get an eye donation and have one brown and one blue. Come to think of it I have two friends with one brown and one blue eye. Maybe they should trade each other.

Death and Gratitude

2008-04-13T22:13:00.003-05:00

I would like to start this posting by calling your attention to the newly redecorated blog page! My BFF husband, Kevin Sturm(the professor) spent countless minutes making me an altogether fabulous polka dot wallpaper background, centering my katywampus blog page and expanding the viewing area. I ask you...how many of you have a BFF husband who would do that for you? I am beyond blessed and incredibly impressed! Thank you Kevito, my hero! Thank you to Chrystal for supervising the editing process. Thank you to all of the little people who lent their mom & dad to me for a little bit of time. I will be sure and reward you when I see you in a couple of weeks WHEEEEEE!!!

Brody...Sweetie Litie has prizes for you and Mia!!!! Who loves you, baby????

Okay, on the next brain wave.....Death.
I have decided that I should put on paper, or in cyberspace, my wishes in regards to my death. Now, I am not saying that I am dying or that I intend to die soon. As a matter of fact, I will probably outlive everyone I know. I will be 107 years old with a serious case of dementia. I know for certain that I will be very able bodied. Also, I will still look like I am 30 because of all of the plastic surgery that I intend to have. Your children will come visit me in the old folks home where I will be sitting around in a bikini and a depends under garment and I will have no idea why.

That being said, I guess I will have to print this and put it with my last will and testament so that my great great grandchildren will know what to do with me.

1stly - I wish to be cremated.
2ndly - I wish to be sprinkled in a beautiful botanic garden or lusciously green baseball diamond
3rdly - I wish for there to be no funeral. Period! Just a party and absolutely no viewing. Seriously, why do we do this. Do we really need to see the dead body of someone to know they are gone. So now, all you remember is my plastic looking face, dead. No thank you.
4thly - The first song of the party will be from the "Wizard of Oz"..."Ding Dong the Witch is Dead"
Oh man, I wish I could be there because that will be some kind of funny. Hee Hee.
followed by, "Only the Good Die Young". Then you can play sad cry songs but please follow them up with many a great or funny tune. I think you should check my ipod for some fav's. I love me some U2 and Sinatra oh and Harry Connick, Jr.
And then just dance and have a great old time until it is time for your tired selves to go home. I would like to end the party with Bob Hope singing, "Thanks for the Memories"

Now you know. LOL

Hide and Seek

2008-04-12T22:26:00.002-05:00

Today we went to a birthday party for Clay's mom and her husband at their home in Weatherford. We had a lovely time and ate way too much catfish and hushpuppies. We decided we needed to get home at a decent hour for baths and an early bedtime. While Clay was getting Sophie ready for bath, he noticed that her panties were missing and asked her where they were. After a little coaxing, he found out that she had a poop accident in them at Grammies house and hid them in her guest bathroom. We called her, of course, to warn her and tell her to please throw them away.
I think there is no end to the embarrassment your kids can cause you even when you think you have it all under control. :)

The Name Game is Over

2008-04-10T09:17:00.002-05:00

Mianna Leta Marie Sturm. This is my baby girl niece's new name. They will call her Mia and I will call her Mialeta. She screached for me again last night. I am begining to think that she may be a little high mantainence with a scream like that. It is very demanding. I remember thinking that Sophie sounded like a goose that was being stepped on when she cried. Landry just sounded like a baby, but he would always lift his little head and stretch out his neck and purse his lips and he looked like a baby bird. Babies are so fun!

Lemonade & Good News!

2008-04-09T19:20:00.003-05:00

Last time we chatted I had exciting news. My BFF safely delivered a beautiful baby girl on Monday Morning. Her preciousness is still being called Baby Girl Sturm because the parental Sturms cannot decide on a fitting name. I will keep you posted as to what is finally decided on. I am sure it will be as perfect as she is. I got to hear her cry yesterday and it was the funniest sound I have ever heard a baby make. Chrystal said it sounds like a zoo and she is right. It was kind of a cross between a howler monkey and a parrot being squeezed. It is a little frightening like maybe someone was pinching the crap out of her. I can not imagine Chrystal doing that. I know she would bite her, but not pinch her. Hee Hee. You can check out my precious neice at www.kevinsturm@blogspot.com

Also, my precious friend, Jessica Kaylor, made it home via Jet plane on Monday. I am keeping posted by her blog. I really want to call her, but I am giving her time to get acclimated and have qt with kids and family and people who think they are more important than me. Hee. She is going to have to get through rehab pretty quickly because we have a tamale class at Central Market on April 14th. I may have to go see her soon to light a fire under her tooshie!

OK, my news...for the last two days I have been on the Master Cleanser. This is a 10 day fast. You drink nothing but a lemonade concoction for 10 days and cleanse your body of all nastiness including excess fat. Tonight the fast was broken by Cici's Pizza and I tell you it was worth it. I have been dizzy, cloudy headed, tired, cranky, depressed, weepy and spending a lot of time on the potty. This is not for me. I am not sure anything that requires the use of Desitin by the second day is a good thing. So, I may be a loser and I may have no willpower but I am not going through this again!!!!!

Monday, April 7th Cool Day in History!

2008-04-07T09:28:00.002-05:00

Today is such a cool day! My BFF Chrystalita con Arroz y Pollo de la Sol (Chrystal Sturm) is delivering her precious baby girl in Santa Barbara, CA. She still won't tell me her name. I have tried every trick in the book for the last several months and she has resisted. She did tell me that it may start with the letter "C". So I only assume that it will be Contessa. I am sure that she will name this child after me if she expects her to grow in grace and beauty, if you know what I mean. I so wish I could be there for the unveiling of my precious friends precious baby. I can't wait to meet her.

The second reason for coolness of this day is my precious friend Jessica Kaylor will be flying home from San Deigo. Jessa has been in San Diego for the past month with a ton of complications stemming from some very nasty cancer invaders. Evidentally, while she thought she was on vacation, God actually placed her there to meet a doctor who had the ability to rid her of the invaders. I am positive that she will come home and begin the road to recovery and remission.

So, today I am blogging my prayer to my Lord, the one and only God. The only true power that I have found in this world.

Powerful, Wonderful, Loving God,

My friends and I are experiencing great joy today. I ask you to surround them with people who are filled with your loving kindness. People who plan their lives according to your will and your plans. I ask you to keep them safe. To bring Chrystal's baby girl into this world without complications. I ask you for a healthy baby and mommy, for a comfortable delivery and recovery, for a calm spirit for Kevin and Brody and all of their family and friends. Please bring her friends who can help her in the next few months. Thank you for such fun things as babies.
For Jessica, I am asking you to calm any anxiousness she may be having. Fill them with your peace and smooth the airways between California and Texas. Give her friends and family the diserning spirit to know when to back off of their helpfulness and when to bring it full force. God, please bring her here and fulfill your prophecy to me. Heal her, Lord, we are done with this challenge and we need a break. Move her legs and give her the strength to learn to walk and run again. We love her, God and we know you do too. Pick her up, heal her and let her remain with us here on earth in a healthy, strong body.

I love you and depend on you. You are my God!

Spring Break, Prank Calling & Spelling

2008-03-22T19:52:00.002-05:00

This is the last day of spring break 2008. It was a good one for us. My mom and I took the kids to Holly Lakes Resort near Tyler, Texas. Clay and I visited there about 7 years ago and had a great time. I have often remembered it as a great place to take my kids. They have little cabins or condos in the piney woods surrounded by a golf course, several lakes, putt putt, pool, hot tub, basketball, volleyball, tetherball, hiking, gameroom and a movie theater. It is small enough that you can walk to most of the activity areas and the kids can run around and have a great time. Clay came up on Wednesday and finished out the week with us. My cousin, Kara, lives in Tyler with her two kids and they came out on Thursday evening. I bought some glow in the dark easter eggs to hide for the kids. After hours under the lights, however, they did not glow at all! Also, they were filled with Lemonheads, Double Bubble and Atomic Warheads. Terrible candy! Who invented Atomic Warheads. They are the nastiest creatures in the candy kingdom. If you haven't tried one, you need to just to have the experience. My sour tastebuds are tingling just thinking about it.
Anyway, we started the week off with one of Landry's friends spending the night with us. Jakob is a sweet, toe headed little guy who hardly says a word and is a pleasure to have around. Sunday afternoon Clay was home with the kids and I went to Target because I am a Targetuer. I'm like Norm from Cheers. I walk in and everyone stops and yells, "Tessa"! Well, at least they do at the pharmacy. I am nothing if not properly medicated. Anywho, I noticed I missed a call on my cell. I called voicemail and listened to a serious of burps followed by histerical laughter and my sons voice saying, "ok, what is your dad's phone number?" I called home and asked clay if he realized what was happening and he said he was aware because he received a phone call from Jakob's dad informing him of the pranks. Clay and Sophie had been asleep on the couch while Landry and Jakob came downstairs and got the Wood Elementary directory and called not only me and Jakob's dad, but their girlfriends as well. When I got home I asked them about it and they just fell out laughing. They thought they were so funny and clever. Landry called his girlfriend, Megan McCurdy and Jakob's girlfriend, Haley Lloyd. They asked to speak to the girls and then said, "blah, blah, blah." They said that the girls hung up on them because they did not know who was calling. I had to teach them about caller id. Thank God there was no caller id when I was a kid! I hope now they understand that as fun as it is, prank calling is a thing of the past. It is no longer a favorite past time of children everywhere. So, I dutifully called the McCurdy's and the Lloyd's and apologized for my pranksters. Honestly, I can't believe they are doing this in first grade. Times are a changin'.

Sophie is learning to spell on her own. She is amazing me. Landry didn't learn how to spell until he was fiveish. She is 4 and can already spell her name and stop. She learned a new one yesterday. She said, "P-o-o-P-o-o spells poopoo, right? So, I think P-o-o-p spells poop." I promise I did not teach this to her, but I am so proud!

Daddies aren't babysitters/Mommies shouldn't be martyrs

2008-03-10T20:05:00.002-05:00

I am blessed to have a wonderful husband. I know this. This is why I picked him. Early on in our marriage we started talking about kids and how we would raise them. We talked about the fact that it is a joint effort and we would both be involved in the daily raising of our children. After Landry was born, I showed Clay how to deal with a baby. I showed him how to bathe him, feed him, clothe him, change him, and pretty much anything else that I knew and he didn't. I did know alot more about babies than he did because while he was playing baseball in Jr high I was babysitting. I also, have read every book on child development, temperament,and disease, as well as any article from any magazine pertaining to children that has crossed my path. Anything of importance that I know about babies and kids I share with Clay. We grew into this parenting partnership together.

Therefore, when I have a fun night planned with my friends, Clay has absolutely no problem handling the kids himself. Clay can and often does take the kids on weekend getaways by himself. Most evenings, when he is in town, he bathes the kids, by himself, and puts them to bed. He can dress them, feed them, play with them, take them to the store and get them to school as well.

How,you may ask, did I get him to do this? I will tell you the secret......I expect no less and neither does he.

Many of our friends ask us for advice on this topic. We have come to realize that Clay is a much more hands on dad than most men. We often hear the wife's side of the story and we hear anger, resentment and exhaustion, but we also hear a lot of martyrdom. Wives want their husbands to want to help out and not have to be asked. Or they decide that they never do it right so they might as well do it themselves. I have to say, sister, that you are bringing this on yourself. Your husband is not about to get off the couch and help if he doesn't have to. More importantly, if he knew that this would make him your hero he might be more willing to jump off the couch and help you out. But you have to communicate this to him. He cannot read your mind. He is capable of helping and he probably will, if you ask him and let him.

Now, he may not do things the way you want them done and you either have to accept that or make him a list and show him how to do it your way. Don't expect him to do it your way all by himself. Give him the same respect you would any other caretaker of your kids and be specific. I think it is disrespectful to say that we "train" our men. I think you have to communicate your needs and desires and then help them along the way. Would you want to be "trained". Kind of degrading, huh?

Give them encouragement for a job done and love for a job well done.

To wrap this up...Guys, get off your butts and help your wife!!!!!!!!!!!!! You both live in the house. You both have children. You both have jobs that are extremely stressful. If you think for one minute that we spend our days shopping and lunching with friends while you are hard at work earning a living.... you are grossly mistaken. Do you have any idea what it takes to keep a home and family going. Take us out of the picture for a week and you will sink by yourself. We need a break at the end of the day, too. We need to have our husbands come home and take ownership in the home we established together and be a team player. Don't miss the opportunity to establish an intimate relationship with your kids and your wife. Girls, quit letting them or making them ride the bench. They can do anything you can do. It's not the fifties anymore!

Wonderful Money Making Idea

2008-02-27T22:16:00.003-06:00

Hello, Workout girl here coming at you live from exercise central where we are skinny and out of breath all of the time, but damn we look good!

As I was clearing my mind in the warrior pose today, I was struck with a fabulous idea. See, other people clear their minds during yoga. Mine, is busy concentrating on anything but coming out of the pose. I try very hard to focus on something besides the fact that my thigh is burning and I am about to collapse. It is easier when I am in an actual class with other people. I compete with those around me. I see them gracefully holding the pose for 3 1/2 hours with a look of peace on their face and by dog if they can do it, so can I!!!!! I want them to break first. I stand there willing them to fall down so I can win! But at home, it is just me. Me has a way of talking me into resting a lot. Me gets tired easily. Me has many excuses for me. So, I think on other things and today...Eureka...I may have found a gold mine!

Ok...here it is...I would like someone to start printing magazine articles on toilet paper. TaDaaaa! Isn't that fantastic! The low down is this:

1. everyone reads on the toilet, some more than others.
2. everyone wipes their hiney
3. this is very earth friendly
4. we would be recycling
5. magazines and books would no longer be "tagged" because they were used in the restroom
6. germs would be flushed down the toilet
7. we could have wider toilet paper, this may be nice on occasion

Ok, someone go ahead and invent it. Send me some royalties. Maybe I should get a patent and be on that Inventor reality show.

What do you think?

THE OSCARS!!!

2008-02-24T23:11:00.002-06:00

WAS BORING!!!!!! I wait all year for the Academy Awards. I watch the movies and critique them to death. I read about them. I talk about them. I watch the Golden Globes to see who wins so I can predict who will be nominated for the Oscars. I really love this stuff. This is my Super Bowl and I have to tell you this was the most boring, uneventful, blahhhhhh Academy Awards I have ever witnessed.
Listen to me Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences....If you can't get Billy Crystal or someone as creative and entertaining as him to host the awards....then don't bother televising them and wasting 5 hours of our lives!!!!!

Day One, Back on the Wagon

2008-02-20T23:17:00.003-06:00

OK, Many of you know that on Christmas Eve a very dear friend whom I haven't seen in a while asked me if I was expecting. To which I replied..."NO YOU BEEEEEEEEEEEP, BEEEEEP, BEEEEEP, BEEEEP, YOU DON'T SAY THAT TO PEOPLE WHAT KIND OF BLEEEP, BLEEP, BLEEEPITY BLEEEP ARE YOU?????

That's what I wanted to say instead as my ego slowly deflated before my eyes I said told them politely that I was just overweight blah, blah, blah. I turned to find my husband and told him that I wanted to go home post haste. I had a baby to feed!

We had a Merry Freaking Christmas that evening. I ate my weight in pecan pralines as I opened presents filled with clothes that I wasn't about to try on.

Seriously people, I understand that many of you did not know me before I had Sophie. So you would not think that I looked pregnant. Sadly, this is the size and shape that I am when I am 5 months along.

Needless to say, I started a fearce workout the following day. I did cardio or yoga for 30 min each morning and my Slim in Six video each afternoon. I also joined Jenny Craig. I lost 7 lbs after about 4 1/2 weeks. Then I got sick, really sick. I still worked out while I was sick but only once a day and at a very low intensity. The next week we went to Jamaica and I worked out 2 times. Then as soon as we got home I became really sick again. I could barely walk up the stairs much less exercise and the only thing I wanted to eat was powdered sugar donuts. They are very nutritious.

So, it has been three weeks since I have really exercised and I started over today. You will be happy to know that I have kept off the 7 lbs., but my tummy remains large and rounded. I am commited to once and for all get back to my fighting weight. Once I am there, I dare you to ask me if I am expecting. You can expect a swift kick in the head!

I no bloggie muchie

2008-02-19T10:45:00.002-06:00

So, I haven't blogged in a while. There are several reasons...1. I was dealthy ill then we went to Jamaica when we came back I was deathly ill again for 9 horrible days. Last week was my first week back to reality and I had to catch up on a pile of bills, emails and responsibilities and Clay was deathly ill. So I had to the kids all by myself. The other thing is I haven't had much to say! So let me think of something and I will get back to you! STOP BUGGING ME LITA!!!!!!!

Martin Luther King Jr.

2008-01-17T20:18:00.000-06:00

Landry is learning about Martin Luther King Jr. this week in school. We talked about him today in the car. I told him about segregation and all of the important changes that MLK helped to bring about. He summed it up for me by saying, "So, now we get to play with black people." Yup, you gotta fight for your right to play with black people.

On our way home today we passed a stinky smell. Landry said, "Okay, who farted?" Sophie, very matter of factly said, "It's just my breath."

Sweet Nothings

2008-01-16T09:05:00.000-06:00

I love the way Sophie says "Momma". It's very southern and very little girl. I can't describe it, but it is sweet. Landry has called me mom since he was about three. Unless he is sick or being very sweet. So, when Sophie talks to me and she says, "right momma?" I just love it! I remember when Landry used to call me "mommies" he was one or two and oh so sweet. I also remember when he started talking in sentences. Right after his 2nd birthday we were shopping in a store. We started to leave and he looked up at me and said, "We not going to buy any little boy toys?" I stopped in my tracks and told him not today. He looked at me with these questioning eyes and said, "Little boy have enough toys at home?" I can hear it like it was yesterday. He was so edible!

Last week he told me he learned about "penstofalys" in school that day. He meant apostrophes. Sophie had a headache last week and told me that her head was beeping all day long and she had a tentature in her ear because it was beeping, too. She did have a temperature in her ear. I am glad we don't use the rectal thermometer.

Talent Show is Over!!

2008-01-13T20:38:00.001-06:00

Talent Show is over, Talent show is over, talent show is over!!!!! Yeaaaaaah, Yeehaaaw, WoooHoooo! As you may know, this year Landry and 4 friends did a "dance" to Ghostbusters for our 2008 Wood Cruise Line Talent Show. We had 5, 2nd grade boys all decked out in Ghostbusters outfits complete with Protonpacks and Guns who did a dance choreographed by the moms that included a chair routine, fog machines, and a light that projects ghosts swirling around the stage and if that was not enough we also had a bigger than life size Staypuft Marshmallow man who made an appearance on stage only to be shot to death. The part of the marshmallow man was played by non other than my brave and selfless husband. The part of dresser of the marshmallow man was played by me, so neither one of us got to see the actual performance, but as soon as we get the DVD I will put it on the blog. I may actually blog more since I will have more time now. We'll see!

School is in session and no one died!

2008-01-03T21:18:00.000-06:00

Today was the first day back to school after winter break. It was strangely uneventful. I wasn't sure how today would go since the last day of school before winter break was truly one of the hardest days of my life.
As many of you know, my favorite person at Wood Elementary, Ms. Sandy McNutt, retired on that day. Ms. McNutt is my friend, she is my favorite teacher, she is the only reason I drive my kid 20 minutes to school instead of going to the school down the street. She is my family and I love her way too much.
She is the most empathetic person I have ever known. She has the ability to make every person that she knows feel like they are the single most important person to her. I have often watched her talking with people and I marvel at how she never takes her eyes off of them. She focuses on what they are saying. She really listens to them. Her attention makes them feel special and to her they are.She sees potential and she coaxes it out. Kids just beam when they walk away from her. I am not the only person who loves her and considers her personal property. Our whole school is full of love for this woman. So, I knew this would be a sad day. I just didn't realize how hard it would be on me, personally.
We started the day with what I thought was going to be a fun Christmas carol sing-a-long in the school cafeteria. I brought my happy self and my happy daughter up to the school and sat there with Landry's wonderful teacher trying not to cry as each grade level sang a specific song for Ms. McNutt. She cried and cried. My heart just broke watching her hug every kid.

As I was leaving the sing-a-long someone told me that the school was going to line the halls at the end of the day and do the "clap out" for Ms. McNutt. The "clap out" is a Wood tradition where the students line the hallways on the last day of school and clap out the 6Th graders who are on their way to Jr. High. I went to it last year. Mind you, I only had a kindergartner but, I cried like he was leaving for college. So, when I found out the plans for that afternoon, I lost it. I completely broke down sobbing. I don't generally sob. I tear. I sniffle, but I don't sob. But, I could not imagine how unbelievably hard that would be for Sandy. I wanted to take her away right then and say, you don't have to do this. You can stay. I will take care of everything. Actually, I did say that. No luck!

Needless to say, that was a ridiculously hard day. I cried the whole day. People kept asking me if I was okay and I would just break down and try to explain.It was really crazy for me. My head hurt. My eyes were swollen and I had to go get a massage the next day to get rid of the tension I was holding in my body. See people...I have compassion!
I don't even want to know what Sandy had to do the next day to get back in working order.
Anyway....that terrible day was over and I have dreaded today for the past two weeks. I know in my mind that it wouldn't be different. That everything would remain the same, but my heart has a little empty feeling when I think of going up there and she isn't in the building. I also wondered if maybe she would change her mind and show up chained to the front door with a shirt that says, "Hell no I won't go!" Hee Hee...now that would be funny!

It didn't happen. As a matter of fact life went on. Landry did wake up with a stomach ache today. I wondered if I would be going up to the empty, hollow halls of the school to pick him up early today, but he made it through the day and forgot about his stomach ache. The halls weren't hollow or empty. No new regime is coming in to shake things up. It is just another day at Wood. I didn't even have to get out of the car today. Which is a good thing because it is cold as a witches nose! I will miss plopping my butt down in her office and just shooting the breeze. I will miss the security I feel being under her wing, but I am so thankful that she invited me to come to the school that she has made into the amazing place that it is. I don't know what I have done to be so blessed, but God has really put wonderful people in my life who love me as much as I love them. He has guided my steps even when I wasn't aware of it. I hope he keeps doing it. Landry and Sophie, you don't know how blessed you are!

They will go back to school

2008-01-02T09:59:00.000-06:00

Come hell or high water, they will go back to school tomorrow. My kids are bored. The $25,000 worth of toys they got for Christmas have been played with or ignored completely and they are now considered old and boring. Their neighborhood friends started getting on their nerves and they have seen every ridiculous episode of SpongeBob known to man. It is time to go back to school. It is time for schedules and planned activities. It is times like these that reinforce my conviction that I should never home school my children.

Talent Show

2007-12-12T20:52:00.000-06:00

Someone please remind me next year that I do not want to do talent show again! Seriously, the whole rehearsal process makes me not like my kid. It makes me not like any kids. I do not know what happens to them, but they act like they have been raised by wolves! The adults do all of the work finding the right song, choreographing a routine, putting together the stage props and costumes and finally getting everyone to the various rehearsals, auditions, rehearsals, ass whippings and so on and so forth. Only to be met with dissension, aggravation, broken props and then bull if the kid doesn't say...."I don't even want to be in the talent show!!!!!"

Next year I am putting together a group of moms to perform in the talent show. I am bypassing the kids altogether!

I give

2007-10-19T22:41:00.000-05:00

Have you ever "volunteered" yourself out. Do you know what I mean? When you have said yes to several volunteer tasks that people have asked of you as well as some that you really want to do. Then all of the sudden there comes a time when every one of them seem to converge at the very same time and you are doing everything you possibly can to do the best job and not let anyone down. I am a little volunteered out. I have had to ask God what he expects of me right now and you know what he keeps telling me? His old stand by...BE STILL AND KNOW THAT I AM GOD. Which right now means for me to quit trying to control everything and roll with the punches. I did this today and he told me to resign from a volunteer postition that I was just asked to do and reluctantly agreed to yesterday. I did it and I feel a huge, HUGE weight lifted off of my shoulders. Also, today was relatively smooth. Except for my run in with the crossing guard at school. I just have to say that she is so very lucky that I am not PMSing today and that she was standing beside my car and not in front of it. I may have been blogging from my jail cell this evening.

Take Cover

2007-10-15T08:56:00.000-05:00

This morning we are experiencing torrential downpours here in North Texas. There has been lots of thunder, lightening and flash flooding. On our way to school we listened to the weather reports and the DJ said that the Fort Worth Fire Dept. had already reported three house fires. These fires, they believed, were started by lightening. The DJ warned us to be careful. At first, I thought, "yes, she's right we should be careful." Then I realized what on earth can I possibly do to prepare my house for random lightening strikes. I guess I can't pick up the mail while holding a big metal pole. I often do this. I just like to test my luck but, if the lightening is serious enough to warrant a warning from the knowledgeable DJ, I think I will leave my big pole in the house today. Better yet, since houses are obviously being targeted by random lightening today I think Sophie and I should go to the mall and stay there. You never hear of malls being struck by lightening. Come to think of it you don't hear of anything bad happening to malls. No one bombs malls. Malls do not usually get tornadoed or hurricaned. That settles it! We are going to the mall. See ya there!

Flu Shots and More Language Arts

2007-10-09T21:18:00.000-05:00

Landry and Sophie had some follow up doctor's visits today and at the end we all got flu shots. Last year we did not get flu shots and I will not do that again, no matter how much my kids protest. Luckily, this year Landry was able to get the flu mist. This you inhale up your nose and it is not at all painful. I could have opted for the mist myself, but poor Sophie isn't old enough so if she was brave enough to get a shot so was I! It hurt though. The nurse told me to relax and I just looked at her and said, "ya, right." I am about to poke a needle in your arm and push some stinging liquid into your muscle. Just think of the beach and the sound of the WAAAAAVVEEEESSSSSS! Anyway, we all came through it beautifully and since it was too late to take the kids back to school and they deserved a prize, we went to Alley Cats. It was awesome! We were the only people there. It wasn't noisey. I new where my kids were at all times. I bought them each a ten dollar card and it lasted almost an hour. They walked away with about 2500 points and several treasures that I am sure I will throw away in the next couple of weeks.

As we were leaving Landry started to ask about homeless people who have to eat out of the trash can. He said, " you know mom like the poohos." It took me a minute to realize that he meant hobos. Poohos. Fabulous!

Language Arts

2007-10-07T22:54:00.000-05:00

This morning Sophie said, "oh, mama, you crap me up." It reminded me of when Landry called me a "crack head" instead of a nut head. Funny kids

Me so Funny

2007-10-05T23:28:00.000-05:00

Sometimes I forget how funny I am. Not often, but sometimes I do forget. Then I read my profile and I crack me up.

I need to say that the only reason I do this blog is for my kids. I want them to have ample evidence that they need counseling when they actually have to go to counseling. I also want them to know that they are weird and they come by it honestly. It runs in their genes. It's genetic. It goes back generations. The other reason I do this blog is so Lita and I can live next door to each other even though we don't live next door to each other. She think me so funny, too.

The Master

2007-10-03T20:30:00.000-05:00

I picked up Sophie and her precious little friend Jaye Caroline at school. As soon as we got in the car they had an interesting story to tell me about their adventures that day. Well, Sophie did, Jaye is a quiet, observing little girl. She rarely says anything to adults. She just stares and possibly shakes her head, but on this day while Sophie told the story, Jaye sat there wide eyed and chimed in every couple of seconds. Here's the story...

Sophie, "There was a mouse on the playground today, it was sleeping.'
Jaye, "It had ants on it."
Sophie, "Well, it wasn't really sleeping it was kind of sleeping."
Jaye, "It had ants on it."
Sophie, "Well, it was really pretty dead."
Jaye, "It had ants on it."
Sophie, "Everyone was touching it except me and Jaye."
Jaye, "It had ants on it."
Sophie, "Ya it had ants on it so we didn't touch it, but the master came and got it and took it inside so we didn't see it again."
Jaye, "It had ants on it."

Me, "Who is the master?"
Sophie, "The master is a guy who goes to my church school. He comes and talks to us about books and stuff. He is kinda like Doc."
Me, "Oh, the pastor."
Sophie, " Mrs. Kathleen calls him the master."

Much ado about Nothing

2007-10-02T22:54:00.000-05:00

I have spent the last couple of weeks culling throught our closets, dressers and various bins of hand me down clothes. I have been doing this for two reasons.
1.) To find out what fits and what doesn't
2.) To take the clothes we have grown out of to the school for the clothing drive.

I had 4 very large bags of great clothes piled up in the back of the Expedition. I loaded up Sophie and her friend Jaye and headed off the Wood a good 30 minutes earlier than the picking up crowd. I hauled the bags in only to find out that the clothing drive was two weeks ago. Seriously, two weeks ago. Oh well, here we come Mission Arlington.

Flying

2007-09-10T22:07:00.000-05:00

I am flying on Sept. 11th. What kind of stupid am I.....Well, I am the kind of stupid that didn't bother to look at the calendar and recognize the date before I booked it. No wonder it only cost me 25,000 miles. I wonder if I will be one of only two people on board the plane? Me and one other dumb butt. I cannot imagine that anything like 911 would happen again, but you never do know what crazy terroristic peoples have planned in their pea sized hate filled minds. I think I will be using my time on the plane to pray for the families whose lives were impacted during that horrible disaster. This takes my mind off of me and onto someone more powerful than I am. I really hope there aren't any "eastern" looking people trying to fly anywhere tomorrow. Talk about racial profiling.

I will be flying to Salt Lake City, Utah where my fabulouso friend Allison will pick me up and drive me to Park City where she now lives with her family. I will be spending time hiking and shopping and doing yoga with my favorite workout partner. Allison and I used to work out every day in Corpus Christi. I think she will be disapointed in my lack of physicality lately, but I know she will be so happy to see me. Our cups will runneth over!

Morning Sleep in AHHHHHHHH!!

2007-09-07T09:11:00.000-05:00

Sophie spent the night with her grammie last night and Clay took Landry to school and I slept in until 8:30. I got that OOHH AHH feeling! So nice to sleep in. So nice to sleep at all. Now I am going to walk my little pdoggies (puppydogs) and do some gardening. I think I will follow this with yoga, laundry, shower and then pick up the boy from school. What a loverly day.

Handicap Sticker

2007-09-04T22:25:00.000-05:00

I now have three friends and a mimi who have handicap stickers on their cars. I have to say that I am not jealous of their various handicaps which enable them to place said sticker in plain view and park in the FRONT ROW. I am, however, plotting to steal one from one of their dash rear view mirrors and walk with a limp. (A slight limp, Lita.) Tell me, do you think this is wrong?

Football

2007-08-24T22:33:00.000-05:00

Landry started football practice this week. Yes, he is playing football. No, it is not tackle. Yes, it is overwhelming. I already have the order form for all of our spirit items. ie. yard sign, tshirt, decal for the car. I always said that I was not having a sticker on my car that said whatever sport my kid was in and their logo, but I may have to. I always thought Clay would put it on his truck and tonight he informed us that his company won't let him put stickers on his company vehicle. So, I may sticking a sticker on my car! I will wear it proudly!!!

Sophie and Jay Caroline Posing

2007-08-18T21:54:00.000-05:00

Alfalfa Sophie and Horned Landry

2007-08-18T21:53:00.000-05:00

Seaworld Trip Landry got soaked by Shamu

2007-08-18T21:52:00.001-05:00

I'm not scared of this Dolphin

2007-08-18T21:52:00.000-05:00

Creature lover

2007-08-18T21:51:00.001-05:00

Landry, Haleigh, Sophie and Harrison Clowing around in San Antonio

2007-08-18T21:51:00.000-05:00

This is one of MANY pictures like this!

2007-08-18T21:48:00.000-05:00

Near Death Experiences

2007-08-18T21:00:00.000-05:00

I nearly pruned my thumb off this evening while I was dead heading my new Knock Out rose bushes. Seriously, I was holding a spent bloom in position to cut it off and I somehow sliced into my thumb straight to the bone! I felt it hit the bone. GROSS! It bled like a stuck pig!
I very calmly dropped all of my stuff and walked into the house where I made the rational decision to wash it in the laundry room sink, so as not to spoil the kitchen sink with blood. I ran it under the cold water for a minute or two and then pressed a clean paper towel on the cut for a few minutes. It stopped bleeding. It doesn't even hurt. It's funny because I really thought we were headed for the emergency room again. I mean straight to the bone. How do you cut yourself like this and it doesn't even hurt. Hey, maybe I'm the Cheerleader!!!!! Save the gardener, save the world!

Oh, red, you get it?

Zippity Do Dah

2007-08-15T23:07:00.000-05:00

Today I remembered why I am not a nurse or personal assistant. I do not have much patience and people around me need to do what they are told and at some point fend for themselves. This does not make for good servant material. I can only do so much and then I need a vacation.

Clay is doing better. He is performing covert illegal operations and spending lots of time on the phone and on the couch. This morning he drove himself to get a taquito for breakfast and filled up my car with gasoline. I woke up to an empty house and immediatly called him to say, "What are you doing?" He sheepishly replied that he didn't know he wasn't supposed to be driving. I reminded him that just a few hours ago his body was filled to capacity with heavy sleep inducing narcotics. On top of that he has a stint in his ureter, he is taking kill the horse pain medication and he is not supposed to be driving or eating spicy, fatty foods from our local mexican dive! Macho as he is, he said it was no big deal, he was hungry, I wasn't awake...blah, blah, blah! When he returned home he told me that he filled my car up with gas and looked at me like I was supposed to thank him. I looked at him like if you damage yourself while healing and we have to prolong this misery, YOU WILL DIE! Like the Sweet Potato Queens say, "Some men need killin". Please dear Jesus in heaven above keep him from killin himself so I can get the priveledge!

Blue Balls

2007-08-14T22:11:00.000-05:00

We are blue here at Whimsey Hill. We are blue because my poor husband has been put through the ringer the last couple of days. Yesterday, he had surgery to remove a 7mm kidney stone that was painfully traveling through his ureter to his bladder. When the doctors finally got in to look at it, it was way too big to pull out without causing a lot of damage. So, they sent his poor self home with a catheter dramatically protruding from his, well his, well, you know. He was to go home and rest, ha, and the doctor would use a machine to blast it into little passable bits this morning.
This finally happened this afternoon.
The surgery center was backed up and did not get to Clay until 3:45pm. This makes for a very long, hungry and tiring day. He was blasted and ready to go home at 5:30 and he has been miserable ever since. I am feeling for him. I have actually been a little sick to my stomach today. I can only describe this as sympathy pains. I am such a Felix Unger! (The Odd Couple) I hope tomorrow is a brighter day. I am thankful that so far he has lived through this and is hear to painfully partake in another 105* day.
Oh, one funny thing did happen today. While we were waiting for his procedure to take place, I found a skin marker. I tried, without any luck, to convince Clay to let me write something funny on his belly. Something like...Fragile, HANDLE WITH CARE, THIS END UP.... Damn, that would have been funny! He's not in a very funny mood! I get teary just thinking about it. Oh, what about elephant ears. heeeeheeheeheeheehhehehehehehe.

Diet Coke is the Devil

2007-08-12T21:49:00.000-05:00

I am writing in brown because Clay has a kidney stone. I think it is brown. I have no real medical knowledge to back up my hunch. It is just a hunch. I think it was brought on by mass consumption of diet Coke. Diet Coke is the devil. It tastes bad. It's not right.
Anyway tomorrow we will go to the hospital where he will have the stone removed. This is not a pretty process. If you want to know more about it please visit www.WebMD.com I am sure they have some info.

Fireflys, Lightning Bugs, and FROGS!!!

2007-08-10T22:06:00.000-05:00

We here, at Whimsey Hill, are having a great summer. Yesterday was the last day of kindergarten and tomorrow we start 1st grade. Well, not really, but it does seem like it. We acutally have two weeks of summer vacation left, but it feels like we have only been out for a week or two. Tonight we are having Landry's friend, Kyle, spend the night. Kyle and Lands are good buds from school. This is the first time we have seen him since the end of school. I really thought we would have him over at least twice a week, but it has not been so. Time either creeps by slowly or shoots by like a comet. In this case it has left me with stars in my eyes. Right now they are trying to sneak up the stairs without me knowing. They are whispering loudly and sound like a herd of cattle going up the stairs, but oooohhh, they are being sooooo sneaky!!!!

They have had a great time tonight. They made forts out of pillows, rode scooters to the park, caught fireflys and frogs, had homemade cookies, and played video games. What more could you ask for! We love summertime!

Hello DAAAAHlings

2007-07-31T21:15:00.000-05:00

Helloooooo! Lita, I am switching my blog to this here free one! See, my other blog is costing me a whole $6 a month and well, we all know that with the raise in prices at Starbucks, I will need to save my money where ever I can. I am about to write a big ol letter to Mr. Bucks and let him know that only the post office can raise prices twice in 6 months. My Iced Venti 3 Splenda Green Tea was once $2.06. It was recently raised to $2.17 and is currently a very steep $2.27. I feel like the proverbial frog in the kettle. They slowly raise the price and let me get used to it so that I won't jump out. Well, I am about to jump all over them. Honestly, it only cost them three quaters of one penny to make the tea in the first place. The are making a hefty profit off of my addiction. I may have to make it at home and carry extra supplies everywhere I go. I need to get a big cooler and set it up in the back of the Expedition. Now that is an addict!

Tessa Background

2000-04-12T01:21:00.000-05:00